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RE: Full Moon chat with Randy Maugans of OffPlanet Radio on Nox Mente
Why is your heart in mourning for Tammy's children and partner, but not yourself?
It is not because death is negative, but because of the lack of someone. Even if they do not disappear, it is still a change, still a loss of something that was.
And even if your heart won't go out to yourself, you are in mine, over this.
<3
Because I know what it is like to lose a mother and those girls are young, they have not come to the perspective I have, which has been found in all the many deaths I’ve been through over my life, from an early age — I mourn for them because they have had a mother like her to cook and play art, and dance, and be grumpy, and sit with them, and now she’s not there in person — I mourn for the void I know they are feeling and the complex of abandonment that children gain when a death like this creeps into a childhood. I worked to get where I am, I died to live — there was a time when I would have been in deep mourning for her, but I just am not and have not been that person in years. I have nothing but love and joy in my heart for Tammy, no damage to hold me back and keep me down. No regrets. She and I went through so much. I kept it out of this post but she came to me in Dream before I knew in “waking”, plus I had pulled cards and saw that there was going to be a death, and one of my bone dice of my great gran’s fell to the ground. I knew, as I usually do. The only deaths I’ve felt great sadness over are ones where there was a sense of guilt, or regret. This is pure love. Yes, I’ve been crying, but I’m not in mourning.
Thank you for your very kind words and love. <3