Absent Lover

Have you ever held a lover who wasn't there?
Like bristling leaves
Unsteady in his presence
There and not quite there
Staring into your eyes
Soul searching for another
Every hello like a goodbye
Have you ever been the other woman in your own home?
How do you explain a longing for one who lies beside you
Holding you but arms feel cold
Every kiss lacking warmth
Every sigh, another woman's name silently whispered
Have you ever felt alone in your lover's arm?
Have you ever felt the aloness of a lover who lies in your arms?
Felt his soul craving for release
Longing for a woman who isn't you
Helpless in your desire to have him absent than not at all
Adamant in your need to possess him
He promised to stay
He will stay
He must stay
You tell yourself as his 3-year-old "I do" reverberates and his ring glistens in the dark
And so you stay with an absent lover
Who is there but not quite there
A heart beating for another but tied to yours