From Mitte to the midst - When the gods called I was in a meeting

– here comes the follow up part … hope you enjoy …

Chapter 2 / Part 1

I was always glad to come home, even if it felt different this time. There was still plenty of time to make a decision. I decided to take it easy. I was surprised at how quickly I regained my place in Berlin and my old life. The tight jeans seemed to fit better than before and I hid my sunburnt skin under a black leather jacket and a designer sweatshirt. Autumn had arrived in Berlin and the sun was already struggling against the chill.
For years I've been collecting Carrera sunglasses. My favorite glasses, which I had so often worn and strained during the last years, got broken in Thailand. Despite mid-October, I felt the great desire to buy a new pair of glasses. Well, I had a whole drawer full of vintage glasses, but somehow it wanted something new now. I would go back to Thailand and need a pair of sunglasses. I sat down at my computer and searched for new models of the Carrera brand. I found very quickly one that I liked and with a few clicks I had a shop in Berlin, which offered it at an unbeatable price. The spectacle shop was in Charlottenburg. Not my neighborhood, but for this price the way would be worth it.
The spectacle shop was only a few minutes by car from Mitte in Leibnizstraße. It was a Saturday morning and on the Karl-August-Platz was week market and I was glad to find a parking lot quickly. A short time later, I had a new pair of glasses. Although I was arranged for breakfast, I wanted to run quickly over the market and see if I might find something interesting.
There were a lot of people on the way, and I walked a few meters into the hustle when I realized a tall elderly man who walked straight path to me. He was in the middle 50s, had white hair and wore a beige long coat. He looked directly into my eyes, as if he knew me and his eyes said, 'Here you are!'
I stopped in the expectation that he would turn his eyes away, or I would remember where I knew this man from. He came up to me. His eyes welcomed me. His gaze was kind, like that of an old acquaintance, whom you had not seen for a long time. Perhaps the friend of a friend or the father of a fellow student or just someone who confused me, I thought. He was only a few yards away and a few people were standing between us. Suddenly I could not stand his gaze any more turned around and ran in the opposite direction. I don’t know why but I ran.
My eyes wandered through the booths and I tried to find a reason why I had come here. I was looking for something I could hold onto. I felt like I was falling. My thoughts turned like spirals in my head, while my body seemed to move aimlessly. I wanted to get out of this situation, which I could not classify.
After a few meters, which seemed to me like an eternity, I had reached the end of the market. I turned into Leibnizstrasse where my car was parked. Once again I wondered briefly whether I should not just go towards the man and ask him where he knows me from, but I did not dare. I turned around. The man had stopped too. He looked at me as a stream of people passed him like water on a rock. His gaze was full of clarity. The expression of his eyes left no doubt - he knew me.
A feeling of dizziness accompanied me a few yards to my car. I slammed the car door as if to shut out what had just happened. I remembered the appointment for breakfast.
“That was certainly the father of a fellow student, whom I can not remember anymore,“ I told myself. This answer reassured me. There were so many people in Berlin and so many faces, one could not remember all.
At breakfast I mentioned the incident with no word. It was a sunny Saturday in autumn and I was glad to see Berlin under a blue sky. The city was gorgeous when the sun was shining!
Sometimes I wonder whether it would have changed the course of things to come if I would have gone towards the man on the market and would have spoken to him. But today I know that things are what they are, what they were and always will be. Time is only a vehicle of our mind that is unable to grasp life in its entirety.
Four days after this encounter, I was arranged for dinner. It was a Wednesday. We met for a meal at Du Du in Torstrasse.
The restaurant was just announced and accordingly well attended. I liked these evenings a lot. We sat together and drank a few well-groomed Asian beers to spiced up Asian dishes with rice and fish.
On the table lay three iPhones and everyone squinted during the conversation again and again on the display, so as not to miss any message. Like millions of other people, I had discovered chatting on Facebook. Adding friends and being added. As if there was a prize to win, for the one with the highest number of friends on your profile. I knew that none of the 500 Facebook friends would be there for an emergency. But since I knew that, I did not think about it anymore. It was fun and it was the common way to do so.
We had already drunk the first beer when I got a new friend request. Most people who wanted to be friends on Facebook you were already familiar with by nightlife or your job. It was just another social communication stage, like exchanging a phone number, just much more informative, more modern and entertaining. I was an enthusiastic Facebook member. I was sure if you lost the connection to the mobile community, you would be socially excluded. I did not want to risk that. Each mail was equally important and had to be answered immediately. I opened my account.
“Jade sent you a friend request.“
Jade!? The name did not soudn familiar to me. I asked my freinds whether anyone knew a woman named 'Jade', but got no answer. The profile photo showed a young woman with long dark hair. Age: 29. Occupation: Yoga teacher. Religion: Wicca - whatever that might be. Favorite movie: The Fountain.
There was very little information, but enough to arouse my interest. I decided to google afterwards.
Jade just had two friends on Facebook. I became the third. She was very beautiful in my eyes and I suddenly saw inner pictures. Pictures from a dream, which was already weeks back and was flushed up again.
In my dream, I am lying at home in my Berlin apartment on the sofa. In my arms I hold a woman with long dark hair. She lies with her head on my chest and holds me with both arms tightly embraced. I stroke my hand over her long dark hair. She turns her head to me and we look deeply into the eyes. A warm feeling of security flows through my body and I can look through her big, dark eyes down to her heart.
The images of the dream glittered like a movie, and I wondered if there was a connection between the dream and what was happening. I wanted to know where she came from, and what made her call a strange man as a third friend at Facebook. In my memory, I searched for encounters that would fit, but I found nothing.
Again I saw pictures. This time a shy deer, who had ventured out of the protective forest to a wide clearing, and gave me a glimpse of the distance. Head raised, ears raised, ready to jump back into the forest at the slightest sign of danger. In the eyes of the deer I saw curiosity and a great longing for freedom. Pride and shyness.
Lately, I have combined many situations with such images. I did not know where they came from or what they meant. I just let it happen. Actually, I liked it very much and it helped me to assess situations better. At Jade I felt that I had to approach cautiously, otherwise she would run away. I somehow felt that this encounter would be important.
I had to wait until the next day to get an answer from Jade. At all, I had to be patient. I felt that something new had begun and patience was a lesson that seemed to advance the new. Patience reconciles us with time and thus with our lives. That is a good thing. There is, after all, very much time in life, even if it often feels like the opposite. In view of the situation I was in, I was very relaxed, I thought. I could not have done more than wait. Fate. Just to put a name on it.
About a week ago I had my laptop folded and the display was broken. Many colorful fields and lines now stretched across the screen and the user interface was no longer visible. So I connected the computer to my 42-inch TV to read and chat. The only problem was that the TV was attached to the wall, which looked very chic, but due to the brevity of the computer cable caused me to sit very close to the screen and my head constantly tends to a very unfavorable angle while reading. I had already neckaches from the chatting, but that didn’t stop me. I switched on the TV, started my laptop and took my usual unusual seating.
Jade had send a message. She only created this Facebook account to be able to contact me, she wrote. That flattered me a lot. She got my name from the nice waitress from the Green Café and spoke obviously of Luna. I should not be mad at the nice woman because she passed my name. That was not me. On the contrary.
It was a Thursday and I asked for a meeting, today or tomorrow, but she did not have time. On the same day she would fly to London for professional reasons. She was a yoga teacher and self-employed. I knew nothing about yoga, but she seemed to be quite good at what she did when she gave courses in London.
I could read between the lines that it was a great passion that drove her. Yoga was her way to reconcile herself with life and herself, so it seemed to me. There was much peace in the words she wrote about it. That pleased me. A woman who had found her focus.
She would not come back from London until Saturday, but then she would be very happy to meet me for a tea. I agreed.
For a moment I had the image of the frightened deer before my eyes as it looked over at me with its big, brown eyes, turned around and slowly went back into the forest.
On the weekend, the drums of the city again shouted to the ever-same dance with the fire of the night. But this time it was different. Like almost every Friday we started the night in the Bar 1000. Many said that this bar was to posh for Berlin and could be located in Munich as well. I liked it. Finally, someone had really tried to make something different, at least for Berlin.
I was there with a friend. He introduced me to a few of his friends, but I was not particularly talkative this evening.
“That’s not how it works,“ he said. “You have to make an effort. Do you really know who that girl is I introduced to you? I know her from Munich. She's a bombshell and you just ignore her! “
But I was not looking for conversation with a stranger woman. I was not looking for anything. My next wife would find me, I was convinced. Perhaps she had already found me. What was Jade doing right now? I went home this evening without saying goodbye to anbody. I did not want to go out this weekend. Instead, I spent most of my time in front of the computer and tried to find informations about Jade.
Her Facebook profile did not tell me a lot, and the little that was there, I had not heard of before. It was all as new as this feeling that I had that I did not know. The internet would at least help me with answering the comprehensible questions and give the things a name and an explanation.
Religion: Wicca. Wicca could also be called a witch religion or witch-cult. It was about the connection to nature and the knowledge of its power, and how it could be used for humans, for example by medicinal herbs and rituals. The adherents of this religion seemed to be very connected with nature and revered natural spirits, who also appeared in the form of the elements and the natural powers known to us. A little witch, I thought, laughing. Occultism was never my cup of tea. Or how ever you may call it. I had learned that such things were usually practiced by mentally unstable people. Jade didn’t seem any of this. But all zhis new stuff aroused my interest.
I devoted to her favorite film: The Fountain. The way to the video shop was not far. It was a small video store, which mainly had classics and blockbusters in the rental and I was not sure if I would find this movie there. I was lucky though.
It was a quiet and thoughtful film. A scientist experimented with plant extracts from the rainforest to find a cure for cancer. His wife and great love was seriously ill and he hoped to save her by his research. There was still a second and third level in which the film was playing. In both it was about a tree - the tree of life or life tree. On the one level, the main actor played a Spanish soldier who, in the fifteenth century, sought the tree of life in the rainforest of South America to save his beloved queen and his country with his juice. In the third level, the main actor, together with the life tree, floated through the universe in a bubble. It was about life, dying, rebirth and the cycle of all being.
The pictures and the accompanying music of the Icelandic band Sigur Ros touched me. If I am to be honest, I didn’t really get it. But there was something about it that attracted me and aroused my curiosity because a inner part of me that I had not known of before.
I was looking forward to the first meeting and wanted to have all my senses with me when I first saw Jade. I did not want to miss a single moment. When my computer finally spit out a message, my heart made a jump and stumbled right away.
She would not come to Berlin this weekend. The demand for her seminar was so great that she would spontaneously spend three more days in London. They all wanted to take lessons and she did not want to disappoint anyone. There was only one who was disappointed! Me! I was pissed. Why should all these stranger people in London get the time with Jade, which had been reserved for me.
In the next moment, I was no longer angry. Actually I felt happy for Jade that she was doing so well with her profession and she got so much positive feedback. I would be patient.
Patience. This lesson seemed to be subdivided into several sub-sessions. I took a good seat again on my school bench. I felt I was making progress. Normally, I was never squeamish with women. Either it worked or it did not. Endless ever-changing appointments to coffee-drinking, which would lead nowhere, were not my thing. But it felt different with Jade. I felt that something special was waiting for me. Something I had not known for a long time.
I asked Jade if we wanted to chat. She did not know what 'chatting' was to my surprise. At that moment she did not seem to be from this world. Almost every person I knew had a Myspace and later a Facebook account. Everyone knew how to communicate in these media. How could someone has missed that on this planet?
We were chatting. And it spurred both of us equally.
I wrote to her that I looked up the meaning of Wicca and also watched the movie The Fountain.
“Did you like the movie?“
“It's a sad movie. But I like it, even though I would not make it one of my favourites.“ I was honest.
“I can imagine. It takes a little time to understand everything. The film means a lot to me.“ She paused. “Tell me, have you found your tree of life?“
“To be honest, I do not know what a tree of life is!“
“Everyone has a tree of life. It carries all knowledge and feelings about you and all of your companions from your past lives, and keeps this knowledge for you in this world. You can connect yourself to your tree and enter it. I tell you, find your tree of life! “
Even as I read these lines, an unknown heat filled my body. Everything within me seemed to spread, expand, and open. I felt like I was going to dissolve and fought against it. This feeling was new to me and I felt deeply touched and at the same time challenged and replied almost mockingly:
“Have you found your tree yet?“
“No!“ She tapped into the chat window. “But I'll find it soon. I can already feel it. “
I read her lines and was fascinated by the determination that resonated in her words. Shortly afterwards, we had to say good-bye, since she had to attend her Yoga class.
Tree of Life. At least I had learned something new.
Later in the evening I wrote her a mail. I wanted to tell her about my dream and the beautiful, dark-haired woman in my arms.
I had to wait another dasy to finally receive an answer. She thanked me for sharing my dreams with her.
“Dreams are something very important. The dream is a kind of spiritual communication that helps us find the right path in life. In our dreams we are connected with the spiritual world. We should always try to keep these two worlds in balance in our lives otherwise we could get sick“, she wrote.
Spiritual world. Never heard of something like it and it had no relevance for my life.
I asked her where she got all that information from and she replied that she came from a very spiritual family. She had grown up with all these things, and she had learned the dream interpretation from her mother. Her father and her mother were something like modern shamans.
“You do not need to be ashamed that your parents do not have a real job,“ I told her.
She laughed and the chat window filled with countless “Hahaha“.
“You need not worry about my parents. They are doing very well. “
“Well that’s even better.“
“Back to your dreams. What else do you dream? “
I had no idea and thought.
“Last night I was by the sea. The sky was clear and it was beginning to dawn. I wore white clothes and rode on a mold along the beach, while the surf struck the shore in gentle waves. Then you stood there. You were barefoot and wore a white dress that was so thin that I could guess your beautiful body underneath. You have stretched out your hand for me. I'm galloping toward you, grabbed your arm and pulled you to me on the back of the mold. We embarked on the beach together, and went straight into the sunset. “
“Wow ...“ was all that came from the other side.
“So I would imagine my first dream with you,“ I typed into the keys.
“Yes, I do. Wow.“
Wow seemed to be her favorite word. It occurred almost in every second sentence.
We chattered the next few days and nights between their courses while she was still in London. We wanted to learn more about each other. Jade had recently moved from New York to Berlin. In New York, she had lived together with her mother for the last three years, who was also a yoga teacher. Her father, however, has always lived in Berlin and she had decided last year to spend more time with him. Jade's family seemed to be well-heeled as she always talked about her apartment in New York, which she wanted to sell now. She had looked at many apartments in Berlin and had finally moved into a house near me, right in the next street. Nor did she want to tell me which one. I did not ask. Also not by their surname or the house number. I only knew the road, and it was not a hundred yards from my door.
For Jade everything was so new and she enjoyed our evening chats very much. And me? I had fallen in love. I felt deeply drawn to this woman who had set up a Facebook account just to approach me. When I told my friends about it, they grabbed their heads.
“Come on,“ they said. “You're talking about a woman you've never met. When will you finally meet? When does she come back from London? “
I would have liked to have a suitable answer ready, like “tomorrow“ or “the day after tomorrow“. But her plans had changed again. Since she had been in London for so long, she flew directly to Hamburg for her next yoga workshop. She would not be back in Berlin until Friday.
“What kind of story is that? She’s fucking you. “
I could very well understand these words from the mouth of a friend. He worried about me. He was afraid that I lost myself in something that was not worth it. And he was afraid to lose me.
“Besides, you know Halloween is on the weekend and we're going to have a party. Dare not to attend our party. “
“I'm coming. I promise! I'll bring her.“ I was sure it would work this time. She had turned me down so often and she would not let me down this time.
Jade and I chatted every free minute and learned so much about each other. She sent me youtube links from yoga teachers, with whom she had learned and who had shaped her. I was a yoga freshman like I said. I told a friend about these people she said that these were not yoga teachers but yoga gurus - real yoga stars.
“Which people have shaped you in your life?“ Jade tapped into the chat window.
I did not have to think about it for a long time and looked for videos of David Bowie and Karl-Heinz Rummenigge on Youtube.
Until I was thirteen I had a Karl-Heinz Rummenigge shrine in my children's room. The best footballer in the world, completely down to earth. After a brief period of reorientation, innumerable antipickel lotions and the first self-purchased records, David Bowie took over his place. The best musician in the world, unapproachable and a really crazy guy and definitely not from this planet.
A sheet music book, which I had ordered at the age of 17 in a music store to play my favorite songs on the guitar, made me cry when I finally held it inmy hands after three weeks of delivery.
I posted Jade a play scene by Karl-Heinz Rummenigge and a music video by David Bowie: Heroes. This song was important to me in several ways. First, the accompanying film played in Berlin and secondly, the song contained one of the most romantic lines of pop history:
“I, - I will be king
And you, - you will be queen ...
We can be heroes, just for one day…“
I always had goose bumps when I heard these lines, and I was sure that this one day would soon come for Jade and me.
“Karl-Heinz Rummenigge and David Bowie. How funny, “ Jade wrote.
She liked this contrast.
We posted videos and links from sites that were part of our lives and which we could share. We were surprised how much we had in common. From time to time she sent me a photograph of herself.
It was Friday night, when she was late to the agreed chat. I waited.
“You do not believe who came here today. My mother came to Hamburg together with my father. This is so beautiful because I see both together so rarely. My mother lives in NY. “
Jade had already told me about her family life.
“It's so nice to see them together. Their love for each other is so great that I can not get enough of watching them together. You know, I always wanted siblings, but my parents thought they wanted only one child to have more time for their own love. “
“Ok, that sounds somehow logic – I guess“, I replied.
“I will not come to Berlin this weekend. Please forgive me. I want to be with my parents. My family is so much on the road that these moments are very precious to me.“
On the other hand, I was naturally happy for Jade that she was now in the circle of her family, on the other hand, it also meant that our meeting would be postponed again.
“Are you all right?“ She asked.
“I'mkind of sad that it's not working with both of us.“
She had posted a video in the short time, “See you soon“ by Coldplay. I clicked on the link and the video opened in a new browser window. Chris Martin stood alone with his guitar on a large open air stage in front of thousands of people. I dived into the song and at the same time sank into my longing for Jade. I had to cry for the first time.
“Are you still there?“ Jade wrote.
“Yes. I cry. I miss you.“
“Baby, do not cry. I miss you too.“
“I love you“, I typed into the keyboard of my computer. Somehow crazy, I thought, I hardly knew that woman and had never seen her. At the same time I had never produced these words with such conviction. A voice inside me said, 'It's alright.'
“Baby, I love you too ... and now I have to cry too“, she wrote.
There was silence.
“I want to tell you something“, she continued. “When I celebrated my farewell party with my friends in New York, everyone asked me why I am leaving. Why go to Berlin and not stay here in New York, where I have everything. They said I was crazy. I said I'm going to Berlin because I know my man is waiting for me there. I can feel him already! When I saw you in the Green Cafe on Kastanienallee, I instantly knew that it’s you. You're my man!“
My whole body filled with a tingling warmth.
“I want to take you in my arms and never let go“, I wrote.
“I know, baby, but our time has not come yet. Now that my parents are here, I want to be with them. I rarely see them together. We both will still have all the time in this world. I promise you.“
Her word filled my body with a strange energy.
Jade wanted to tell their parents about our encounter as soon as possible and show them pictures of me. She was happy now to be with her parents, and even happier about finally finding her love.
Fate had decided and we would not see each other in the next few days. Without knowing me, she had moved to the place where she could feel her man. This power was so strong that among the many apartments she had looked at in Berlin, she chose the one only a few hundred yards away from my apartment. She had moved out of New York, so to speak, with an announcement, directly in front of my door. Everything fit so well together that I did not want to believe in a chain of coincidences myself. Jade was right when she spoke of fate, and the purity with which my feelings grew to her confirmed it. Everything felt as if it had always been ment this way.
I was alone this evening and went to sleep early because I would have to take care of my Halloween costume for the upcoming party. I was sad to not be able to see Jade yet, but I was also lucky enough to reveal my feelings.
Friends had set up a Halloween party and their guests demanded fantasy and, above all, courage for ugliness. I got a matching panel. In the shop, the walls were full of creepy masks, costumes, snickers, vampire teeth in all lengths, and costumes from famous Hollywood mass murderers in the appropriate size for 4-year-olds. The first thing I found was a blood-stained knife.
At home, I cut a hole in a white T-shirt and sticked the knife under the T-shirt with tape to the naked skin, so it looked as if it had been pushed through my shirt in the middle of my heart. Some spots of artificial blood and it was perfect.
The decision for this costume had fallen spontaneously. But I was not aware of the fact that it was merely the reflection of an old wound from a previous life. On this evening, I carried a message into the world that was older than my present life, which neither I nor the people around me could have read.
I did not stay long at the party. Thoughts of Jade raced through my head and I was looking forward to tomorrow and my internet date with her.
I sent her by mail some pictures of the party and my costume.
“Ouch! A dagger in your heart? But you look great ... hahaha. I told my parents about us and my mother first said you had the same nose as me. Hahaha ... and I've got my mother's nose. “
“What does your mother look like?“ I asked.
“She looks like me, but she's much more beautiful. It is the love between my parant. Love makes her beautiful. And when my father saw your photo, he just said he already knew your eyes.“
Her mother was right with the nose. They looked really similar and I also laughed. As I was told, Jade was half Mexican, explaining the dark hair and her southern appearance. But why did her father know my eyes? That didn’t make any sense to me. I was quiet. Before my inner eye I saw pictures of the encounter with the stranger man on the market a few weeks ago.
“Tell me, is your father relatively tall, has white hair, and lives in Charlottenburg near Karl-August-Platz?“ The description was certainly very vague ...
“Yes, he lives in Charlottenburg, he always wears a suit and sneakers. He always buys vegetables in the market. “
“I think I've seen your father before. But why does he know me and I do not know him?“
“He says he knows your eyes. Our eyes are the gate to our soul. My father can see a lot. I told you that he was something like a modern shaman. He retains much of what he sees, and rarely talks about it. So he gives others the opportunity to find out for themselves and does not interfere with their lives. He certainly saw in the market that you were my man.“
It took me a moment to understand what was being said.
A few weeks ago I met a man in a market in the middle of Berlin. Days later a woman enters my life, which now turned out to be his daughter. Although I had never personally met her so far, I felt for this woman such a deep love that was bigger than anything I've ever experienced.
Okay, but what did it all mean? Jade had already told me that her father was a kind of modern shaman. I could not imagine anything. I knew that shamans would talk with spirits and heal the sick. How this was done, however, was a mystery to me. Shamans - that I knew from Indian tribes in South America and documentaries on Television. I did not know that shamans had their place in all cultures of the world.
“And your mother? Does she know me already? “
“No, she does not know you, and she was very upset I opened a Facebook account because of you. And uploaded pictures of me. “
“How come? You look great. “
“That's not it, baby. She's worried about something happening to me. I have not told you all about me. My family is very well-off. “
“Yes, I thought so when you told me that you had a flat in New York and one in Berlin.“
“I have now agreed with my mother to delete all pictures of me on my Facebook profile.“
“Okay I understand.“
“And then there's something she's worried about: you're not one of us!“
None of us? What is that nonsense, I thought, and wrote:
“What does it mean?“
“You remember what I told you about this other world I live in and the people with whom I've been together all my life. I grew up in a very guarded community. Looking at the world as you know it is a fundamentally different one. My life has always been very spiritual. Just by my parents. I have grown into two worlds, so to speak. “
I was not quite sure what she was talking about and what she wanted to tell me.
“Are you in a sect?“ I asked straight ahead.
“Hahaha. No, no sect. They are people who lead a spiritual life like me. “
Okay, then no sect. Perhaps she lived a life in the jet set, shielded from the normal world.
“Are you a star and do not want to tell me your last name?“
“Hahaha. Unfortunately, I am not a star. Not really,“ she said. She seemed to find it amusing to have me poke for the right answer.
“My family is very wealthy. But I'm not a star ... just a small one. “
“Okay, you have money. I have not. Is it because of this that I do not fit into the image of your mother? “
“No, money is not important at all. It is the spiritual life of what I am talking about. My mother says that if I were to find a man like you, I would have to give up life as I know it. “
“And what does your father say?“
“He says I should listen to my feelings.“
“And what do your feeling say?“
“My feeling says you're my man. But I also feel a certain truth in my mothers words. I'm not sure if I'm willing to give up this life. “
I also had a feeling, and that told me that everything was right and I felt safe where I stood.
“You know, I think your feeling will come when it's time.“
But the most important question was:
“When will you finally come to Berlin?“
“I'll fly from Hamburg to Paris tomorrow to give a course there. My mother has said a few very important things and I want to think about it. She also said that I still have an important encounter. She's usually right with what she says. But after Paris, my mother gave me two weeks of and I want to spend this time with you. I need a break.“
Deferred was not canceled. After Paris we would have two whole weeks. Fromm y point of view, it did not sound so bad, even if it meant I'd have to wait. Patience came again and demanded surrender. And I gave myself to it.
The next morning I walked the dog and also passed the Green Café.
“Hello, Luna, how are you?“ I said as I entered the cafe.
“Thank you! Uh, I have to confess to you that I gave your name to a female guest. Normally, I do not do something like that, but I thought when I told her your name she could contact you via Facebook, then it's not as personal as a phone number. And I do not have your telephone number anyway. “
“Thank you.“ I smirked. “That's all right. We are in contact and we are both very happy about it. We write about Facebook because she is very busy and travels a lot.“
“Oh, I'm glad. I immediately saw that I can give her your name at all events - that it is right. She comes here often to the cafe and gets herself a tea and is really very, very nice. Can I make you something to drink? A double espresso, as usual? “
“An espresso would be great, thank you. I think Jade will contact you again to thank you for helping her. “
“Ah, Jade is her name. A beautiful name and a very beautiful woman.“ She laughed.
I did not tell her about the encounter with Jade's father, nor did she know that we had come to know each other, but had not yet really met - at least not aware of it. My feeling told me that it was only a matter of time before I would hold Jade in my arms. This moment would change everything, for me and for her.
When I was back home, I had a mail from Jade. There were a few book tips. I should read these books so that I could experience something about this other world in which they and all the people around her lived in. I ordered them immediately online. In two days everything would be with me and I could read for myself what she spoke so mysteriously of.
So I would have something to kill time, for the time when Jade would not come to Berlin. In addition, she sent me a Youtube link titled “Stille spricht“ by Eckhart Tolle. He was a friend of her family.
She told me that her mother was coordinating all her appointments and it seemed to me that she was interested in giving Jade enough time to think about our relationship. She did not want to give her daughter so easily to someone who was “none of us“ in her words.
Jade was still in Hamburg but we were chatting every night. On Friday she would fly to Paris. She was very excited, as she would meet many old friends. She did not answer for a whole day, and I did not write to her either. I wanted to give her time to think about what her mother had said to her.
One day of no correspondece became two days and I came across a strange feeling. That did not suit her. In the evening I received a mail. It said that in Paris she had met her ex-boyfriend, whom she had left three years ago, not because she no longer loved him, but because she had said at the time that it was time to leave. At that time she traveled back to her mother to New York. Last night, she met him again, as her mother had prophesied in Hamburg, and had to realize that she still had strong feelings for him.
I thought I was not reading. But what could I do? Jade sounded more insecure in her mail than before. A voice inside me said 'Okay, that's it. I get off,' and another voice said, 'She needs a strong shoulder now that gives her security.'
I was still sure that I was right with my feeling. I could sense how much she was trying in the vortex of her emotions to reach for a saving branch. I wrote back:
“I'm here and I'm waiting for you. No matter how you decide. Your feeling will show you the way to your truth. I'm sure.“
I was proud of myself for showing so much magnanimity. But inwardly I felt a great sadness.
I received no news for two days.
During this time I met a lot with Luna. We walked with the dog and talked. I learned that Luna had also led a spiritual life from a small age, so I had many questions to ask about what I had learned in my conversations with Jade. Luna told me that she could see auras, and that she was always happy to see my aura when I spoke of Jade, because she then radiated quite golden. I was pleased to hear, even though I did not know what it meant.
I noticed a tattoo on Luna's wrist. Three circles arranged in a triangle. One circle was empty, one half and the other completely filled.
“What does that mean?“
“I live according to the moon tradition and that is the sign of a moon woman. Jade, too, lives according to this tradition. “
“Does she have such a tattoo?“
“Yes, but she'll tell you all about it, I am sure.“
Luna did not want to anticipate too much. I lamented my suffering that Jade had so little time and we had not even met yet.
“You will meet. I know that.“ She said this with such determination, which brought me back inside.
“All my friends already believe that I am crazy because I'm still after that woman. The woman whom no one knows and whom no one has ever seen but you. “
I told Luna about the books that had arrived. She knew all about it and she was a real fan of Eckhard Tolle. I was surprised. She told me more about this other life that she had in common with Jade and gave me courage.
“Everything will be revealed to you. Read these books. If you have any questions, ask me. I will answer all your questions as best I can.“
I was glad to have found a contact, because I wanted to learn more about this particular world and about Jade itself.
Late in the evening I received an email. According to her dates, Jade wanted to come back to Berlin today. Instead, she let me know she'd stay in Paris for longer. She was still unaware of her feelings. She would spent the weekend at a place outside of Paris to think about. And Luc too would be there.
I had to take a deep breath. The whole thing was a real challenge. I decided again for patience.
On Monday, I finally received an email from where she said good-bye to me. She had spoken to her mother and decided to delete her Facebook and mail account, and that was her last mail to me.
That meant the end. I was in Berlin and could do nothing. As she had come into my life, she seemed to say goodbye again - with a single mouse click. That day I did not leave the house anymore. Out there I wouldn’t have known what to look for anyway. I felt empty.
But already the next evening I received a mail from Jade with a new mail address.
“Please write me,“ it said, and I replied immediately. She wrote that I was still in her head and that she had not yet found any clarity. She felt that she needed contact with me. I did not really understand what that meant. She had had a big dispute with her mother because of the Facebook account and have to promise to delete all accounts. Her mother did not know that she would contact me again about this new mail address. Nor does she agree with her feelings about her ex. She asked me not to go, but to accompany her further. Jade would stay in Paris for the whole week.
It seemed strange to me. Now the time had come when I should say good-bye to this story. I was hurt in my pride and felt fooled. Biting comments from my friends did one thing.
The game seemed lost anyway and I wanted to leave the field with my head high. I wrote her a mail, how much I was disappointed by her and asked her to leave me alone.
The next morning I went to Luna in the cafe. She immediately saw that something was wrong with me. Probably my aura shone purple. We sat in front of the door and I told what had happened. Paris. My feelings. The good bye. The new mail address.