I work in Customer Service for a major retailer, and here's why you SHOULDN'T be an asshole (sometimes)

You see that guy on the picture? That's the kind of person I talk to on a daily basis, and the worst thing is...they're usually right!

How did it ever get so bad? Well, after working five different customer service jobs in the last four years; the answer is pretty simple: most of us are terrible.

However, there's some hope yet that you will actually get some stuff done by calling customer service instead of having it be a complete waste of time. Here are some helpful tips from someone who has seen way too many cases of customer screaming and crying over stuff that could have been easily avoided:

1. Be Aware that None of These People REALLY Care About your Issues Yet:

Look, in a perfect world; the person at the other end of the phone should automatically treat your problem as if it was the biggest deal ever and worthy of moving mountains for in order to get it fixed. In the real world though, the person at the other end is most likely going to be an underpaid twenty-something thinking about how much of a drag it is to take yet another phone call.

This is not to say that this is always going to be the case, but it's a fair bet that your issue might not seem as world-ending to one of us as it seems to you. The trick to get the other guy invested in your problem is this: sound as nice as possible over the phone, even if you have every right to be upset.

It sounds simple and almost not worth mentioning, but I feel a lot of people underestimate how important this is.  An angry customer never really gets far when it comes to getting stuff fixed quickly, and that's because there's no real empathy there. Regardless of how right you are, customer service agents work most efficiently when they want to help you out out of their own accord instead of because they have to, so making yourself seem calm and collected does wonders.

2. Do NOT Ask to Speak to Someone who Talks "More American"

Not many people are aware of this, but most major retailers and companies outsource their customer service duties to foreign countries. Most of the time, you're going to talk to someone with a thick accent, and that can definitely be a problem in some cases.

For example, I live in Costa Rica and I like to think I do okay when it comes to speaking English; but the guy on the cubicle next to me is literally unintelligible sometimes. Most of the day, I hear him repeat most of of what he says twice due to customers not knowing what the hell he's saying.

However, you always have the option of talking to someone from the United States if things get too hard to understand; right?

Wrong. Turns out, most call centers don't have a direct line to teams in the States, so you are pretty much stuck with what you get. 

In truth, there's no clear solution to this scenario other than politely asking for a different agent (which can take ages) or just hanging up and calling back hoping for someone better. The best advice here is to not rule out the person with the thick accent right away, and never to ask for someone who speaks more "American". You would be surprised how often this happens, and how much it slows down the process of getting your issues fixed efficiently.

3. The First Person You Talk to is Not Capable of Doing Everything:

Nothing is more bureaucratic than customer service. There are a million different positions with a million different roles, and all of them working in conjunction efficiently is truly a rare thing. 

This is why its paramount to cut through the fat right away and request talking to someone who is really going to be capable of getting stuff done. If you have an issue with billing, there are literally eight different departments that will take a look at your case before any action is taken.

Therefore, ALWAYS make sure to give out a brief description of your issue before providing any meaningful account information or anything of the sort. Customers often spend up to 20 minutes on hold just because they didn't properly describe their issue and contacted the wrong departments, so make sure to be as clear as possible when you first call.

And that's pretty much it! Customer service can be a real nightmare sometimes, but there ARE ways to contact a call center and get something actually fixed while keeping your mental sanity (mostly) intact.