Does my son need professional help... or are there really Spider-Goats?

in #life8 years ago

There is a new game in my house. During dinner, my kids have started playing, "What should dad write about next?" So far they have "encouraged" me to write a comic book review, articles about Harry Potter characters and some movie/tv reviews.

Last week my son came up with what he thought was a brilliant idea.



If they made a movie of this character it would still be better than Batman v Superman.

Timmy said, "Dad? Why don't you write about goats that can make spider webs?" (For some reason my kids both start every sentence directed at me with "Dad?" even though I'm sitting next to them and have been engaged in a conversation with them for five minutes already. It's like they think they need to get my attention... but they already have it! But I digress.)

Anyhow back to his question. "Well Timmy, I can't write about that because you just made that up. Maybe you should write about the crazy things you imagine when you're supposed to be eating your vegetables. But I can't just lie to people."

Although I was kidding about the tone (Timmy knew it and laughed) I was serious about the answer. I couldn't just write about the fantasy of some 11-year old comic book lover. I know I write some silly material, but even I have standards.



If I can get two more sources I'll write about this next.

But Timmy insisted it was real. He really seemed to believe it. In fact he was adamant. He wouldn't let it go. I started to get worried. Had he been over-served on super heroes? Had he finally lost his last grip on reality?

Luckily we happen to have this invention called "the internet" (perhaps you've heard of it) in our house. So I sat down to prove him wrong... and then search for a good child psychologist.

Of course,

Timmy was right!



Not only was he right, it was actually pretty old news. But I had no idea. Apparently he had seen it on some youtube channel that he was watching in-between videos of some British dude playing Minecraft (more on that in a later post).

Still holding out hope that this was some sort of hoax, I searched for multiple sources. I showed Timmy how to do this as well (they'll clearly let just anybody post on the internet... or blockchain). I found dozens of reputable sources including these:


http://www.businessinsider.com/genetic-engineering-goats-spiders-2016-4

http://america.aljazeera.com/watch/shows/techknow/articles/2014/5/1/spiders-and-transgenicgoatsleadtonewasilkroada.html

Transgenic Goats

Apparently that is what this creature is. "Transgenic" means "relating to or denoting an organism that contains genetic material into which DNA from an unrelated organism has been artificially introduced." (Google definition)

In this case, the unrelated organism is a golden orb-weaving spider.



This is Golden Silk Orb Weaver Spider. Two questions:
How do you milk it? Can you make gyros out of it?

Scientists create the silk spinning goats by genetically manipulating a cell (in this case adding spider DNA to a goat cell). Then they remove the nucleus and chromosomes of a typical goat egg and replace it with the modified cell. As the egg grows, it divides and multiplies as normal except now there is a new gene that tells the goat's body to produce the spider silk. This newly created gene will even be passed on to future generations. So there can be baby spider goats!

I immediately wondered: "Where the heck does the spider web shoot out of? " The goat's feet? It's nose? It's butt? How about the eyes (that would be super cool!)?

Nope.

The spider silk protein comes out in the goat's milk.

Yum!

After milking the goat...

"The milk has to be separated and refined several times, then washed, freeze-dried, and turned into a powder. The powder can be spun into a fiber, or transformed into a coating or adhesive. (The milk isn't ever kept for human consumption.)"(Business Insider)

Why? What is the point of having goats make spider silk?

It turns out that spider silk is actually pretty amazing and useful. Just about every source includes that spider silk is "tougher than kevlar" and has a "tensile strength greater than steel".

Even though the goat produced silk isn't as strong as real spider silk, it is still very useful.

Some of the proposed uses

  • Body armor (Yes spider goat body armor... I think I had this when I played Dungeons and Dragons)
  • Replacement for tendons, cartilage, and ligaments (the human immune system won't reject its sheer awesomeness)
  • Football helmets (It is good at dissipating the shock from impacts)
  • Car tires (could I roll up a wall if I have them? Probably not.)

Why not just have spider farms to create this amazing material?

Some animals are great on a farm. If you are wondering which ones, check out this awesome song called "Old McDonald" or whip out a Fisher Price See-and-Say.



When I was a kid, all of our toys had dangerous pull strings that could strangle us
... and we liked it!

All of these farm animals have something in common... they don't eat each other. But that is not true of spiders. So it would be kind of tough to efficiently gather enough spiders together to create a useful amount of silk.

Goats on the other hand do not eat each other. They can also produce significantly more silk than a tiny spider.

If you'd like more information, please check out these resources.

http://www.businessinsider.com/genetic-engineering-goats-spiders-2016-4
http://america.aljazeera.com/watch/shows/techknow/articles/2014/5/1/spiders-and-transgenicgoatsleadtonewasilkroada.html

If you would like to make your own genetic hybrid, please go here:



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Spider-goat tunic +5 dexterity -1 charisma
Flavour text: The beast made the silk, but man made the beast.

Will it protect me form a gelatinous cube?

Brilliant reply buy the way!

Well your great post deserved it. Always quality from you Han. Thanks man.

Also, probably not. Organic material after all. Or... Shit, you clever metaphysical cad.

I'd still argue the mat is organic. ...

Curses! I thought I had final foiled the deadly gelatinous cube!

Hahaha!

Have him write about politics speaking of fantasy.

I agree -- Batman vs. Superman sucked.

Watch for my post coming out in a few mins, I would love your input related to the downvote/flag issues.

I agree, Batman vs Superman was the worst movie ever!

I just shook my head at the people saying it was good.

I gave it a few months. Watched it again so I could get my heart right...

Still terrible.

😂Superman is my favorite superhero and I suffered through the movie. I will not have the strength to watch it EVER again. I hate Batman!!!!

LOL.

good input today. If you have a sec -- log back here and check my replies/comments with @hanshotfirst that are JUST updated.

He had a profound blog post awhile back I mention here with life lessons.

I know. Batman was a complete tool in this movie.

I watched it again with my son because he insisted he wanted to give it a chance. Why????

I still can't believe a writer took credit for it.

And got paid...lol 😂

I'll check it out. I actually saw it in the theater. Why?

Well, I have reviewed your replies.

You are such a good parent. I see that in your posts easily.

The one blog post you made about watching certain #StarWars movies we mock as purists changed my views on things, because you did it with you kids. You bonded and saw things from his POV and I thought that was not only nice but profound.

That is likely the WHY you speak of today. And I still think of the lesson you taught me, that your son taught you, from that post, weeks later.

Thanks man! My kids are awesome. I learn a lot from them!

You are welcome.

Oh.... my #StarWars meme is done, the latest in my series to honour @lordvader and #Liberty together.

Awesome I will check it out.

There is always room for another super hero :)

As long as they can make toys of it of course.

Some people think we can already clone humans outside the womb to adulthood and transfer the consciousness of the original while they sleep to activate the clone. Compared to that Spider-goats are no biggie.

Now if the clones could shoot webs that would be really amazing!

Haha! The Spider-Goat 😃
I had no idea this exists. Thanks to Timmy for this eye opener 😊

I was still worried it was an April fools day hoax until the science guys showed up in the comments and didn't make fun of me. ;)

this has to be one of the funniest thingsi read on steemit today always encourage your child's creativity he doesn't need professional help

Thanks! It was a ton of fun to write. I was just kidding, I know my son is awesome.

Can tell just trying to be encouraging I love reading your stories keep up the good work bro

Haha great post! Transgenic spider goats. So much weird stuff out there.

Yeah, smart kid! Great post Brian!

Thanks! He was so proud when he was proven right! I was secretly happy too. Not often you get to prove your dad wrong... unless your dad is me. ;)

But... what about spider-goat cheese (made of silk of course) ? :D

Is the silk milk sold in stores not really from almonds/soy but actually spider goats??!!?!

Nesting limit, continuing here: Those are called Uber-Bayer-Spider-Goats!

Look out! Its the UBSG!

Well all (98%) of soy beans are GMO, but not all GMO is monsanto related. I don't know if those are.

Now if you are talking about spider goat milk, who knows where that beast comes from.

I just assumed Monsanto was creating an army of zero calorie spider-goats to take over the world... and taste delicious without making you gain any weight.

You could swing from building to building and then have a snack to replenish your energy. Yuck! Thank you real scientist for swinging by.

Yes the science guys!!!! And you aren't making fun of me for believing it. I was still nervous it was an April fools day joke. ;)

We are already building the next hero! You are actually one step too late ;)

Curses! It's always the scientists! What are you cooking up in your lab?

Nesting limit, continuing here: That's possible. Everything can be bought (how do you think I fund my researches...).

Cue the maniacal laugh...

Black holes.... MOUAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oooooooo I may have someone to drop in there.

Wow should have upvoted your post :) maybe I would have gotten 0.001 reward :) I will check the movie , everything else was pretty much known to me.

I should follow my intuition on catchy posts :D , you are making history :)

The movie is pretty bad. It can be funny if you go in with the right attitude. But only if you are into bad movies.

never have been I tend to not shut up and can't handle ripping it off continuously past the first half hour :D

Looking forward to reading about the mindcraft playing brit. My son is a follower too.

LOL. Yeah it's amazing what that Stampy gets paid to do!

So, spider goats are indeed real? Time to leave the planet! :P

But what if they are in outer space as well? Space spider-goats!!!!

Oh my.... I am going to get nightmares, aren't I? :P

I'm really sorry to crush your space travel dreams. ;)