Why Being Too “Nice” Will Ruin Your Life

I, like many others, am a very nice person. I like helping people whenever I can, and almost always try to avoid confrontation. I am also a very sensitive and empathetic person. I feel the emotions of others very deeply and try to alleviate the suffering of others and fulfill their desires whenever I can.

Because of these qualities, I am usually the person that other people go to for advice, or to tell their problems to. I have always avoided drama, and been known as a nice, understanding person among my friends.

Although being a nice person is one of my best qualities, it has also screwed me over a few times.

I have realized that I have been too nice many times. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when I know that I shouldn’t. I’ve tolerated a lot of toxic behavior from others when I know that I should have cut them out of my life instead. This has been a huge burden on my life, and is one of my biggest character flaws.

Also, I have found that in many cases, people won’t consider how I feel about something, since they will automatically assume that I will happily go along with them, since I’m, you know, so nice. Sometimes, in social gatherings or events, I end up uncomfortable situations because I don’t like to voice out my concerns.

In addition, I have found that I tend to receive less recognition for my efforts. Even if I work extremely hard on something, or put tons of effort into the well-being of everyone else, I do not receive as much appreciation for my efforts as someone else would have gotten. People tend to see me as a more passive person that is not willing to be upfront about things.

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Clearly, being too nice certainly has many drawbacks as it leads people to take advantage of you, and to take you for granted. So how can we prevent this?

1. Learn to stand up for yourself
   Don’t let others belittle you or undervalue you. Stand up for yourself when you feel that people have done you wrong to show them that you won’t tolerate that kind of behavior. If you do this, people will learn to respect you more.
2. Notice when you need to be more aggressive
   As nice and sensitive people, we don’t like to be hostile towards others. However, being assertive and upfront about things is absolutely necessary if we want to excel in life. Although most of us will feel uncomfortable doing this, it will greatly benefit us long term.
3. Be aware of the intentions of others
   As nice and sensitive people with good hearts, we like to always assume the best in people. However, not everyone has the purest intentions. Many people don’t actually care about you or your problems and want to use you for their own personal agenda. Therefore, it is a good idea to be cautious about who you are dealing with.