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RE: My Mondays

in #microfiction6 years ago (edited)

This first one is so sensual, evoking each of the senses like incantations to captivate the reader.
The sounds combining with the physical sensations, the opening paragraph carries that drunken stumble home so well. It was very evocative of that feeling of supporting each other <3 the drunk-related descriptions for the scenery really adds to the image, (singing, whistling, merriment etc) carrying that world-swirling feeling of drunkenness. The use of language, and the ways things are described, for example the use of the phrase voice-box instead of the whole host of more comfortable/sensual phrases, adds to that jarring disconcertion of being drunk, not remembering the words and callings things by statement names. I appreciate the choice to emphasis that drunken disorientation instead of adding to the sensual connection/moment between the two.
A beautiful moment of two girls staggering home together, falling over but too caught up in their joy to care, drunkenly trying to kiss each other. Very sweet, just like your wine ;)

The second one feels like a snippet of an exchange between two colleagues, took me far too long to realize engies was probably slang for engineers haha, but Tadeusz is probably right, there is something so much more satisfying in doing things yourself instead of handing it over to a machine. And sounds like Tadeusz knows what they are doing, even if they don't shout about their achievements, they think of their friends and have whats needed waiting.

And the last one! How can you stop there :p A secret stash, put to ferment, they are going to have some seriously strong wine at the end of that!! Too secret to even record in the diary!

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UwU ~ Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting!

^^ That's such a great analysis for the first one! You totally went into and dissected the body of the story! Super lovely!!!!~ <<<<3333!!!!~ (Wine~ ;p)

Good eyes on the second one, you actually identified everything right!~

Sorry, can't spill the beans on the third one :p I promised the person I wouldn't tell as well!!!!~ XD