Anger

Anger: An uncomfortable but always negative emotion?

Anger is a complex feeling, socially stigmatized and for this reason the origin of inner conflicts that often shift the balance of our mind, sometimes with truly unpleasant consequences.

Anger can be expressed too frequently and without filters, or repressed to the point of sedimentation inside us. Both situations are a source of danger for ourselves and for the people next door.

There is in fact a "good anger", a natural ability to expose oneself to the outside world or to ourselves, which allows us to express ourselves as best we can and oppose unpleasant situations in extremely functional ways: it is called assertiveness. But if we do not manage to control this disruptive energy, because blocked by the idea that it is not "good" to make it explicit, then this same energy, needing a vent, will channel elsewhere.

Good anger, assertiveness, can therefore be expressed both openly - this will give us the opportunity to confront ourselves with the obstacle, without damaging anything or anyone - who is held back - you will be able to face and assimilate, shifting attention to something positive or using it as a bridge to get to act a constructive behavior. The choice of the two options depends very much on our personality traits.

But when one reacts to it, i. e. acts impulsively on the appearance of any frustrating situation, anger turns into a harmful element. If you repress it in a massive way without elaborating it, you can become "passive-aggressive" - that is, you act in an unconsciously impeding way towards who or what is believed to cause stress - or you develop disorders (depression, lack of self-esteem, psychosomatic illnesses, are frequent examples of this).

Surely anger, which is influenced both by our constitution and the social environment to which we belong, is an element that should not be underestimated when it comes to the well-being of an individual. It is not always right to "throw it out", just as it is not always good to "let it run".

What we investigate when dealing with such an inconvenience is the personal ability to react to frustration in order to have valuable guidance on how to redirect it properly. In every frustrating situation, in fact, there is an obstacle that requires immediate and centered action in order to overcome it. Each of us, in our history, experiences such moments and the way we react to them and record the responses of the other (if he or she will feel approved and supported in their resolution, or rejected and redrawed) will influence the relationship and the way we will handle anger in the future and whether or not it will play an important role in our psychological problems.

In conclusion, this particular and feared emotion is far from regrettable. On the contrary, it is a great ally in times of high stress and for this reason it is very important to learn to manage it and intervene when the ability to express it properly is lost.