Are you sapiosexual? Do you want to know?
For some, physical looks are the most important attractor. While for others, a deeper substantive attractor affects their desires.
Yes, you heard it right: sapio-sexual, attracted to intelligence or wisdom. This is not some trend or fad, it's a real thing.
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From Latin sapiens + sexual:
sapiens - discern, be capable of discerning, wise, judicious
a wise man, sage, philosopher
sexual - appended to a word to form a noun or adjective describing a state of sexuality or style
Sapiosexual (adj):
Sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind.
Sapiosexual (noun):
A person who is sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind before appearance.
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There is also the term sapiophile to describe someone who is sapiosexual.
To find out how sapiosexual you are, check out the following indicators:
1. Book Stores over Bars
Where do you go? Substance and quality of where you go, and who you spend time with.
2. Witty Banter over Mundane Conversation
Witty banter keeping you on your feet, communicate creatively. Sarcasm is an indicator.
3. Silence over Small Talk
Silence is golden. Be comfortable in silence. Say things when you have something to say. NO need to fill in the gaps as if its "uncomfortable".
4. Substance over Popularity
Quality and substance over quantity and popularity. Trending, popular things are not much of an interest. Not running with the pack, nor jumping on bandwagons.
5. Taste over Trends, Shared Interests
Individual tastes and preferences not undermined by what most people want. Finding others with similar tastes create stronger connections through common interests. Intelligent conversation is shared.
6. Grammar over Selfies
Good communications without the need for an urban dictionary or internet Rosetta Stone. Knowing how to speak and say things with a degree of accuracy and precision.
7. Intelligence is Lasting
Physical attractiveness diminishes over time. Being attracted on that basis, means your attraction will wane and die off. Relationships are more fulfilling when attraction is more substantive, than appearance based. Intelligence is real substance that doesn't go away.
8. Intelligence in Evolution
Basic biological-natural drives and motivations are to have sex and reproduce. No real thinking is required. It's largely automatic. Higher order consciousness required developing the capacity for intelligence. Intelligence and sperm health tend to correlate, according to a test of 400 men carried out by Professor Geoffrey Miller at the University of New Mexico.
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Myself, I don't get "turned" on by intelligence or wisdom, but I am attracted to psychological quality and substance, more so than physical imagery and appearances. I am drawn towards others who have similar interests and taste, like philosophy, psychology, morality, etc. I don't like bars, boring conversation, or small talk. Silence is room to think. The substance of moral principles is what matters most in life. Knowing how to think and learn is important, and serves you your whole life. Evolving consciousness towards more moral living is the higher purpose in our lives. Not sure if I'm technically sapiosexual, but I get it ;) I'm sapio-attracted, but maybe not sexually.
What say you?
Are you sapiosexual?
Thank you for your time and attention! I appreciate the knowledge reaching more people. Take care. Peace.
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@krnel
2016-12-12, 8:50am
I don't get sexually excited over wisdom or an intelligent mind but I definitely would have Noam Chomskys baby if he asked me! Hahaha, seriously, the only time I felt sexual was when I was dropping an egg, my not so intelligent husband at the time I had eggs in the basket looked pretty good. The rest of my hormonal life most men are boring, so are most women if they can only talk corporate mainstream ideology.
Yeah... standard "normal" hive-mind people can be pretty boring in general indeed. Thanks for the feedback.
You're welcome!
I consider myself at least somewhat sapiosexual, in that I may find a girl attractive physically, but if she doesn't engage me mentally, I quickly lose interest. Otoh, when I meet many girls, I don't initially find them that attractive, but if they do engage me mentally, I become more attracted to them.
Where sexuality is concerned, the intellectual and emotional components matter to me at least as much as the physical. The physical alone can stimulate attraction, but if the intelligence isn't there, I'm not going to take it anywhere.
Good read and i can identify with this post. My tendencies usually run towards wanting to know what others know, and what they think about economics, philosphy in general and literature. The biggest turn off for me is that woman can be the most beautiful lady in the world, and have an empty brain. I am not discounting physical attributes, but lust only can carry you so far in a meaningful relationship dynamic.
i think girls are more often sapio and men are going for the looks ;)
I don't know about myself so much. I do need a smart woman but I also need a pretty woman. But I found out that there are many such women out and around in the college town I live in. I'm old, bald, fat, crippled up and poor, but I have had more sex partners in the last ten years than the previous 30 combined. They all say it's because I'm smart and funny. I don't care what it is as long as it doesn't stop.
Doesn't that show a stereotypical image that woman look more deep, and men look for shallow? You want sex, they want a mind?
I have a solid disagreement with that whole line of thinking, we all want sex. We want sex with partners that we enjoy. We enjoy partners who fulfill our needs, our needs are defined by our genetics and our upbringing. A person who wants a mind cannot help wanting that mind. A person who wants beauty cannot help wanting that beauty. Neither of them could prevent it or cause it, no matter whether they wanted it or not.
A person cannot claim their desires are founded on higher levels of ethics if they cannot cause it or prevent it. It would be like me ascribing moral worth to myself because I happened to grow tall.
Mens pleasure centers are more involved with their visual cortex. Can't help that and there's nothing wrong with that. Women's are more connected to their audio centers. Can't help that and can't claim it raises their moral worth.
The only things we can claim are those things we trained ourselves to overcome or have worked to develop on purpose. Not things that come naturally to us.
great post. I would have to say that this description fits me pretty well, maybe 90%. However, there's maybe an additional component that is most likely unhealthy: being attracted to men who are already dead. In the case of Nikola Tesla, I would say my interest was probably a bit unhealthy. I think idolizing those whom I feel are greater in intellectual prowess is something I do. It's as if I'm always searching for a mentor, which is not a bad thing really, but when it turns into idolatry, then that is something not very healthy. I think subconsciously I adored Nikola Tesla mainly because he had no history of relationships with women. He is like a blank slate and I think I admire his decision to remain celibate. In his case, I believe admiration is closer to the experience I felt.
I do think this state applies to me because I generally have no interest in someone unless their are clear signs of intelligence. I will say that I am still influenced by an attractive man in a superficial way though, but only in a fleeting way, that I realize won't last.
LOL. I often read comment without looking at the name. I saw Nikola Tesla and thought of the one post I remember on Steemit from... you... hehehe. Thanks for the feedback. I tend to agree. Physical certainly plays a part in all our attraction to others, but intelligence and character are something many put secondary instead of primary.
Great read! But I'm glad I don't fit in this limited edition sapio psychological mold. A good balance between original and potentional virtues are more important, as well as how individual is coping his intelligence. Some flaws can be good sometimes too. Intelligence is appreciated and welcomed always but not necessarily first thing that would inspire me to make friends or choose a partner. I know some pretty stupid people who are still greater in my perception than those who can't deal their own or even more important others people intelligence.
Real intelligence and wisdom involve more than just a thinking capacity. You can have small people who don't care about others. I don't think it's wise to be attracted to them since they wouldn't care back.
I can't be exclusively general in judgement, wouldn't dare..
With this reply I am confessing publicly that I am sapiosexual AF.
yup.. that's me!