Self Forgiveness blog 2: writing, self reflection and making money

In this moment, I have no idea specifically what I will write self forgiveness on, no preconceived ideas, yet I noticed a few moments ago that I havent written any self forgiveness in a long time, and that part of my stress and anxiety that I experience comes from the fact that I focus too much on making money and finding new ways to make money. I can find ways to justify that, sure, because I have a house that I’m building that needs to be paid for, I have a partner and we hope to have children, I have 2 businesses that I am starting that need funding. But the fact is that in can’t only take self responsibility for my outer reality and not direct my inner reality. After all, it is ironic because not directing my inner reality can lead to being ineffective in directing my outer reality, and if left unchecked, in extreme cases not directing my inner reality can lead to health problems and complications. I can think about directing my inner reality and have good intentions that ‘this is something that I have to do’ - but ultimately I have to “back it up” with physical actions and that takes humbleness, humility, it takes away the excitement of stimulation and sobers me to the extent that I have to sit down with myself, quiet my mind, do the writing, look inward - put in the work and time - and without reward or promise of reward as making money.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see writing nd doing self forgiveness as a difficult or arduous thing that does not serve me, like going to school or a job that I hate.

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to consider how much I actually enjoy writing as a benefit to myself and a support to my mental health and physical health, and that it actually enhances my life and living experiences where I can enjoy life and living more because I am clear of mind

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to manage my time more effectively so that I can give time and attention to my process and writing and putting in the necessary time and work to self reflect and support myself in self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to resist setting simple goals for Myself like sitting down and writing for an hour in self honesty and self support

I forgive myself that Ive not accepted and allowed myself to give myself at least an hour a day to focus on reading and writing in self support, without any interruptions or distractions

I commit myself to give myself 1 hour per day to focus on my process and reading/writing in self support, in focusing on my Desteni I process and to stick to this commitment dilligently and without interruptions, and to be self directive and strict with myself in doing so until it becomes a natural part of my self expression

I commit myself to “take my foot off the gas pedal” as far as the pursuit of making money goes, and to not throw tons of time at it, and within this, I’ve more limited time to such endeavroa wherein I can specify what I am doing to pursue financial goals and specify my application so that it is most effective, and not wasting time believing I am self improving/working towards making more money when in fact I am only wasting time and entertaining myself

I commit myself to back up my intentions with physical applications and be self directive, strict and diligent in my self application, doing what is necessary to not distract myself such as turning off my phone or not turning to any other form of distraction and justifying it with the excuse of “but j need to....(full in the blank” as I see, realize and understand that what I “need to do” is focus on my inner reality, self direction and self creation, through writing and applying myself in my Desteni I Process lessons.