How To Last Longer In Bed By Improving Your Sexual Stamina By Changing Your Mindset
Men who have a negative mindset are more likely to experience premature ejaculation, which simply means reaching orgasm before they want to when they have sex. When you think about it, it's not surprising. Our bodies are ruled by our minds. We cry when we are sad. We smile and walk confidently when we are happy. And, yes, we can climax too early during sex if we have the wrong mindset. This is how it goes.
Consider the case of James, a fictional character who experiences orgasm too soon. He is well aware of this and is acutely aware that he wishes he could live longer and more fully satisfy himself and his partners. He's been sexually active for a few years, but it doesn't matter how long he's been doing it for - the point is, he's not happy with his results. Let's jump ahead to a sexual encounter. Even before foreplay begins - as soon as the opportunity or chance to have sex arises - he has the nagging thought, "This time I'd like to last longer than I have in the past, but will I ejaculate too soon?" in the back of his mind. His performance is already tainted with negative emotion, whether consciously or subconsciously. It's putting him under additional stress that he doesn't need. He was thinking about foreplay before sex, during foreplay he was thinking about how he was going to fulfil the female, and all the while the question loomed in the back of his mind, "Am I going to ejaculate too soon?" This technique focuses on bringing you into the present moment and avoiding the unpleasant emotions that can be triggered by thinking about what happened in the past or what might happen next time you have sex.
You can see how we work on auto-pilot, completely unrelated to sex. We take ourselves out of the present and into the future on a daily basis when we don't need to. You're thinking about work while walking down the street, sex while at work, and sex while...well, we know what you're thinking about during sex. The key is that you must be present in order to totally relax, focus, and enjoy sex for lengthy periods of time. Thinking about what can happen if you ejaculate too soon takes your attention away from what's actually going on: you're climbing up the stimulation scale. As a result, you won't be able to tell when you're about to have an orgasm, making prevention difficult.
The purpose of this approach is to raise your self-awareness and bring you back into the present moment during sex. It's utilised during the difficult plateau period of sex, when maintaining self-control is the most vital and challenging task. What you need to do is ask yourself a couple of easy questions in your brain every now and again. "Do I feel tense or relaxed?" and "Am I on the verge of orgasm?" It's critical that you "speak" the questions in your thoughts rather than "think" them. Say each word aloud.
The first question employs a simple psychological approach to help you relax and become more aware of the environment. You don't need to worry about what to do next if, after asking yourself whether you're tense, you realise your shoulders are tight or that you're tensing your stomach when it's not necessary. Your shoulders drop and your stiff mid-section relaxes automatically.
Throughout sex, you should be asking yourself the second question, "How near am I to attaining orgasm?" to determine where you are on the stimulation scale. This puts you into the present moment and focuses you, but stating the question out loud every now and then is even more helpful!