I would like to apologize to @instructor2121 @inertia and @fyrstikken for my anger and jealousy that came out as anger and spite , when i was complaining about the sbd problem i was having
I just felt like i should have received something more for my @booster payment..... i lashed out in steemspeak.com and i want to apologize to @inertia and @fyrstikken and @instructor2121 for my outburst in text chat but I could not contain my anger and frustration and jealousy, i understand now that since @adept reported the same sort of problem I know now that it is an error, I just should have been more calm and waited, and understanding of the recent changes with SBD and that booster was most likely being used so much or maybe I used it wrong but I apologize for my Anger

I already got a refund and I could have probably just slept through this entire thing but instead i turned a mole hill into a mountain so maybe my post can help others calm down in the future

I am most likely just more angry at my own lack of multiple bitcoins, i wanted to have more than 1 bitcoin by now and i should be grateful for what i do have but Im Angry at MYSELF for not working harder this year and I lashed out at the channel tonight

but now i just feel bad for getting angry in the chat... but i got mad, i know now it is because i am jelous

but at least i know it is from jealousy or Envy

I really enjoy the laughs i have with steemspeak.com and do not like the thought of that ending because i cannot control

the latest Gold Nugget @fyrstikken and I talked and laughed hard about is "dead elvis" about the Death of Elvis Presley... on the toilet.... kinda like weekend at Bernie's but involving a lot of bathroom humor and it was so funny that my face went numb, i have not laughed that hard in a while, and the last time i laughed that hard was in the steemspeak.com chat joking with @fyrstikken about some other very obscure comedy that involved things few people understand and its a type of humor i can share with few people who really "get it"
I want to make sure i dont burn bridges when my Tourettes Syndrome goes out of control :D.. :| . :(

A story @fyrstikken told me about his early life nearly brought me to tears when I thought about it later, i feel bad about building up correspondence with a channel only to throw it away and ruin any correspondence i had built with users on steemspeak ...i always had some strange urge to be self destructive as a child that I didnt understand and dont WANt but it was just there, i feel like it is a feeling of wanting to just LET go and say things i dont really mean just to hurt others , like when I lashed out at booster, when it was just a Glitch, I feel like i just helped to burn a bridge and it felt bad ... i should not have bad mouthed a business that just had an error and i would have probly been refundeded no problem or it would have been corrected... but i got angry and started talking about "Oh theres no excuse! I shouldnt have to deal with this! I feel ripped off!' but I should have calmed down like @instructor2121 told me and instead i just went psycho and tried to say "You got trolled!" to instructor to lighten the mood, since i couldn't take back when i had said, and i had noticed that i SHOULD calm down, so i felt better and just tried joking around, but I had been so angry previously that it didnt work right, must have seemed very rude and i dont blame instructor if he got mad at me for that, so since he probobly did, i want to apologize, and to inertia and fyrtsikken for jumping to conclusions about booster

I need to sleep more when i am tired, i would haveben able to avoid this if i would have slept when i was tired, buti stayd up worrying aboutthis, if i had slept through it i would have been able to wake up to a refund