predator to prey, tearing of flesh - a poem inspired the men i let into my life

in #writing6 years ago

the white rabbit
is a porcelain figurine
eyes of ruby, and skin of virgin snow.
on slender limbs,
she’s weightless
a silhouette made of moonlight
dancing in midnight dark.

the timber wolf
is carved from ebony lumber
amber eyes in the splintered black wood
are as stars in the dusk night
gazing upon the pale moonlight flesh
smoldering in hungry temptation.

the timber wolf and the white rabbit
move through the night together.
when the wolf chases the rabbit
The darkness comes to envelop what glows bright
and seeps beneath the skin.
purest white becomes stained in red.

The timber wolf
Lets her go
But the white rabbit
Corrupted in red
Will return to him, every time.

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This post has been manually selected, curated and upvoted by CI mod staff team. Supporting all posts that are in high quality and don’t get enough recognition.



This post was submitted for curation by: @theironfelix
This post was voted: 100%

The choice of words feels weighted, and descriptive phrases like virgin snow, work really way to convey a deeper meaning. This is a very evocative poem, that feels carefully placed to work on two levels.

The rabbit, normally the prey, runs alongside the timber wolf, captivating him. The line 'smoldering in hungry temptation' works so well as either the wolf's eyes reflecting the temptation to eat her, or her white flesh tempting the beast in him.

The wolf compared to the stars that look in envy/awe at the brightness of the moon, entranced by her, it is such a beautiful metaphor for that two sided desire <3 (Have you ever considered sonnets? You tell the metaphor so very well, and then how you progress it throughout the poem, I feel like you have a natural talent for that element of sonnet writing - which is arguably the hardest)

The running together slowly giving way to him chasing her in the slow spiraling of a relationship that had once felt more equal. There is a lot of power behind the words here, especially the white stained red. On one level, the wolf has corrupted the rabbit, the innocent prey now drenched in blood, but then in a way, (and i doubt given this title it was your intention) there is a degree of liberation hiding in there, a creature that should fear the wolf instead standing her own, despite the danger, soaked in blood herself.

A very powerful poem about sometimes the men who are the worse for us are the ones we can't help but return to. Also something about how relationships change us irrevocable, and sometimes leave it hard for us to go back to what we knew before. Just so beautifully done <3

This makes me so sad. Beautifully written, but I think it’s time that rabbit found other fields and forests to run in where the red corruption is cleansed and it returns to that wolf nevermore.

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