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RE: Broken

in #31sentencecontest5 years ago

I flatter myself, that I know brilliant writing when I read it. It's one of my few vanities. This is brilliant.
How do you do that within the constraints of this contest? It's almost as though the discipline forces you to focus and concentrate your creativity into the most exquisite, efficient nugget.
This piece did read like a 'true' story. All the more effective for that.
Hats off, resteemed. Also sharing on Twitter. The best of creative Steemit here.

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I don't know what to say. I'm so chuffed. Thank you. I swear I could feel my head growing bigger with each sentence:)
Such positive reactions from all of my favourite Steemit writers. I'm overwhelmed.

@agmoore, I hope you're just as adept at recognizing your own brilliance. :) Too often, we sell ourselves short. I just read an entire book about the human tendency to judge by making comparisons, and that's part of the trouble.

Meanwhile, I'm still pondering how those final words convey so much. Words. Simple words.

  • holding back tears for whinging was the most cardinal of sins
  • no mention was made of the incident
  • Dad confessed, saying he hoped he'd taught them a lesson
  • what that lesson was he couldn't say.

Well, except whinging - we say "whining" - but oh, do I know how whining was not rewarded back in the day. My generation, it seems, has vowed to be more sympathetic, and I for one ended up with kids who got rewarded for complaining, and I created monsters (until they somehow outgrew it).

What makes this writing so compelling?

I'm thinking the narrator's apparent objectivity or stoicism.
No judgment is made: no accusation is leveled. No self-pity. No playing the victim card.
The pain is palpable. But even half a century later, there is no whining (whinging).
This belongs in some literary magazine or anthology - a wider audience than here at Steemit.
But how to get it published for a bigger audience....
@rhondak, are you here?

Ah, @carolkean, thanks for the compliment. Yeah, I am my harshest critic. But as time passes, I'm learning to let stuff go and just have fun.

I love your commentary on @deirdyweirdy's piece. Easy to lapse into self-pity when writing about a difficult past. But of course, that 's not the author's business. All the emotion has to come from the reader. We just poke and prod until we get a proper reaction :))