My Life With Undiagnosed ADHD-Part 1

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Like nearly all adults with ADHD, I've had ADHD my entire life. It went undiagnosed when I was a child because most people, even professionals weren't aware of the condition yet.

I was pulled out of class to visit with special teachers starting in first grade. Not because I couldn't handle the school work. I was in the top reading and math groups. I'm not sure what the special something was that caused the school system to feel I needed extra help.

It may have been the fact that I couldn't skip. I could run, but when I tried to skip I looked all goofy although I didn't know it. Nor did I even care. If the kids were making fun of me, I didn't notice at least not at that time. So I was taught the steps of how to skip. I still remember, step slide, step slide, step slide. It didn't take long for me to pick it up once someone showed me.

I also had social problems early on. I got teased a bit for being different. I didn't really see a reason to change although it did hurt sometimes being taunted. A lot of it I had chalked up to the fact that my mother didn't buy me fashionable clothes so I looked different in that way too. But it turns out it was more than that.

I was taken to the big city to be tested. I don't remember exactly what they were testing me for. I took some kind of intelligence test and doctor commented wryly that I was "definitely not retarded." Imagine saying that in front of a child! I remember asking my parents on the way home if they had thought I was "retarded". That was the commonly used term in the 1970s. It was disconcerting. It turns out I filled out almost all the bubbles on the bubble test correctly.

Still I saw the school counselor all the time and I saw the lady who taught me to skip frequently. She had me do puzzles and walk on a balance beam a lot. I really didn't mind being pulled out of classes because I found them pretty boring and I actually felt special being pulled out LOL.

Once I got to middle school, they really didn't have that sort of help anymore so I was just in regular classes. A lot of women feel they don't have the hyperactivity aspect of ADHD but I did. I was a chatterbox, a prankster and sometimes the troublemaker. I wasn't super popular but I had a few friends. Some of us were misfits. I enjoyed them but I never felt like I needed a lot of friends. I loved to read (mostly garbage, honestly) and walk in the woods and fields behind my house.

High School was a bit of an improvement over Junior high in many ways because I was able to take some classes that actually interested me. I loved choir the best. After school I took dancing lessons and played sports. Playing sports was not my idea. It was my parents' idea. I'm sure it was good for my coordination and so forth so I can't complain but it was very painful being around so many teenage women. They can be quite catty! And I was still different. I had SOME idea what I could do to be more popular but it felt like too much effort. There were many painful moments for me during that time. I just didn't know how to handle unkindness. Sometimes I just got super quiet and sometimes I responded angrily.
My mom told me to just be myself and things would get better. What she didn't understand was, they didn't like "myself"!

My high school career came out okay on paper. I graduated after receiving some awards for my musical endeavors and even some sports awards I got to go to three proms and I had a couple of (not serious) boyfriends.

I was ready to face adulthood. Or was I?

Stay tuned for part 2.