An Uncertain Future Challenges My Soul

in #adsactly7 years ago

I have always believed, and it is more of a mystical thing that tomorrow will be better than today,

Talk about the future is not up. From little I always thought his future was gray. Because I never know what this is. Success? Established? Or even tired because of wrong step.

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This future uncertainty then challenged my soul. Doing a lot of crazy things that can be seen by others. In addition, a golden opportunity to do these crazy things may have an impact on your future. I am writing this article for myself in the future. Hopefully later, I want to forgive and accept fully this self. For whatever crazy things I am doing now, prove that I dare to try and not lie down.

People say, me and work is a package that can not be separated. Seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day, as if not enough for me. Even if there is a new time unit, I will be the first person to use it in everyday life. My love works to leave me with my own health. Perhaps the number of fingers I can not calculate how much I have a nosebleed or restraint among my overtime. For people this level of work is insane. But hopefully in the future I understand. That I just want to be more productive and independent.

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Maybe I am the most unfaithful person on earth. Just two months out, I have a new boyfriend again. But two weeks later I went back alone. It's not new to me. If you can say, I almost do not believe in love because it is often broken hearts.

Often I feel this heartbreak is not without reason. But I just want to feel the experience of a broken heart at a young age. Then find him who really meets. It is better for me to break my heart to bleed in my youth, than to suffer in the future. When the sport is not able to stand alone.

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Apart from frequent heartbreaks, I am also known as the center of failure. Trying new things without fear, though then again failure. I do not feel guilty. But maybe I in the future have a mind of my own. It's okay if in the future feel ashamed of having repeatedly failed. But know that I tried many forging myself. In the future, this self is more persistent and tough in the struggle. Unlike most people.

Myself, do not be surprised if someday someone thinks you're crazy. Then say first what is done away from the natural person. Change the color of hair every month. Do not want to go to a movie theater for fear of disturbed concentration. Until carrying your own shopping bag instead of using a plastic bag from the supermarket. Sorry if in the end this self is considered weird.

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But did you know that what I do is for one purpose only? I want to be myself for what it is. Without coercion Without the need to be yourself to be accepted environmentally. Or maybe in the future, I will thank myself a younger version. Dare to be different and start to be yourself.

For me parents are everything. But it does not mean I have to limit my own opinion. Sometimes I say my opinion. But father and mother totally disagree with me for a fight. The quarrel was extinguished by itself. But there is also a protracted because of big differences.

To be honest does not really quarrel with this old man. But if my own opinion should be captured, what would I be in the future? Hopefully someday this will forgive this inappropriate thing.

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If there are not many reunion invitations I will receive, I hope this is accepted by myself. Not anti-social for limiting friendships, but in my youth I did not want to pretend. Pretend good just to enter in group of friends. Pretend to laugh when there's nothing funny. Or even pretend to cry just to look sad.

Sorry and ask for my understanding in the future. Hopefully you can understand and understand that friends do not have much. Very little, provided there is no pretense in it.

For myself in the future, hopefully this paper can be a reminder. That the madness that I did in my youth was a form of preparation for the future. So my view of the gray future changes color. And there is no word of remorse because in youth only think of things that are too ordinary.