"What can I do to make my boyfriend propose to me?" - Allowing vs. Forcing
Excerpt: the rational approach to life teaches us to focus hard on things we want, make specific plans how to achieve them, and take all necessary steps towards the goals. However, in most cases applying force is against the natural flow of life and the long-term results are actually counter-productive. If our life is not effortless, does not flow with ease from one expression to the next, then we better examine our approach. We better reorient our minds, from the rational to the magical.
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I have had a boyfriend for three years and we have lots of fun. I love him, I feel good with him and so does he with me (I think). But there is one problem – I want to get married, and although he sort of knows it he doesn’t propose. My parents put pressure on me, I am stressed and nervous but nothing happens. What can I do?
Rachel
Rachel,
Try a different approach.
Totally forget about the whole thing. Don’t give up your wish to get married but release the mental pressure around it. Ask your parents to cooperate and when your boyfriend asks about marriage tell him: “ I do want to get married and I feel ready. I also know that timing is important so when you are ready too it will happen”.
This way you allow the natural force of life to flow to its best place. Act with ease, remain calm; as much as possible don’t think about it, don’t set an ultimatum to yourself, don’t trouble your partner with it; live from one moment to the next.
What will happen? One of two things – either he will propose in a natural and beautiful way or a situation will present itself when you would feel it was appropriate to propose and receive his affirmative consent. The more you pressure the guy (even if only telepathically) the more the guy is cornered and blocks himself.
The question continues:
…But I am 27 years old and he is 29. I feel that everything is slipping through my fingers. He is an adventurous guy and wants to do as he pleases. He tells me that he chooses me each day anew, which is a true and beautiful thing to say but also annoying. His behavior makes me feel that I will never be able to know if he is mine or not. On the one hand, it is a challenge for me and makes our relationship interesting and invigorating, on the other hand, I don’t feel secure in such a relationship although I am certain he would never cheat on me or anything like that.
It seems to me that you need to first release your need to control life. As I said, trust that life works for you in the best ways, release your grip and live in the now.
Secondly, you need to work on finding security within yourself. You are describing a wonderful partner who is loyal and reliable, but who you still don’t feel safe with. Why not? Why can’t you fully trust him and yourself? What are you afraid of and why? Maybe your biggest nightmare is to be alone in this life, and if so, work on the issue: understand that you are never alone and work on finding the friendly source within you that is your bigger self who is always next to you.
the woman shouldn't expect of any proposal from a man, you will only bother him, what i can advise is just enjoy your relationship together and be grateful that you have a relationship that are building the foundation for marriage. :)
Indeed. To release all expectations and attachments.
In my opinion When she's love with him then of course she want to spend a copious amount of time with him, right? Well, spending too much time with her guy can actually drag things out in terms of the two of her finally getting engaged. The key is to pull back a bit, give herself and the relationship a little bit of space, and her guy will instinctively move closer to her. When she physically and emotionally pull back from a guy, she are subtly taking away all of the things that he has become comfortable with. And im sure that's key will be work better, well its a good post for lovers, thanks for sharing with us.
Indeed.
When someone feels they need to be with another person as much as possible, then it's feeding. In children it's acceptable as they are in a process of forming their identity.
thanks sir
When I started reading her story I immediately knew she makes a mistake. I think I know exactly how he feels. What if he is planing to propose? Thanks to her forsible way he may keep postponing this special moment, because he feels he is forced to the corner. It doesn’t feel that much of a moment anymore.
lol, I love this phrase!
Yeah, people give themselves the answers
The best way i guess is stop poking into his matters until u get maried... Trust me once u get married u can put his ass on fire
Sharing from personal experience is always priceless. 😉
Thank you🙏
And the best thing is that when u appriciate my things like this... This makes me feel i am so true about u too.... 😝😝😋😋
The issue of marriage proposal is a very tricky one. You can never control it because you are two different people with different views and wants. Someone asked me a similar question a year ago and I told her that just like life, there's no formula for this things.
You given her a guide, to just live her normal life and try to release some of the pressures. I know what it means for a 27 year old girl in this age, especially when your parents and families are involved. I hope it works out well for Rachel.
All your words ring true for me, yet I particularly resonate with 'don't set an ultimatum'.
Once we realize that Time is an illusion, we see that there is no past or future, only the NOW. Setting an ultimatum means we decide for ourselves to intentionally replace our positive feelings for negative feelings from one moment to another. By clinging to Time, we try to make the illusion real.
...another good reason for not setting an ultimatum.👍
If you feel you are ready to marry, the couple is also suitable, and the family has agreed, just never applied, you need a trick to outsmart. Your partner may still be too complacent with his busyness and career.
You can do the first few ways
You can Tell how happy the family is married.
And you also have to Diligently visit your partner's home.
You also tell about your married friends.
You can also invite your partner to watch a romantic movie about married life.
And tell your parents also want to have grandchildren
😀
😂😂
We can not control the mind of our girlfriend, therefore we can not impose the will. By staying rational, and being nice, maybe it's one way to
I think, Impressing is the best way to propose... Some work is not forcibly...Relation is one of them... because relation is sacred... so if we force to propose it will give bad result. influence her mind to choose to marry us. Even if he betrayed, we should be grateful because he has shown who he really is. So we are not married by the wrong person. Oya, the title of the next post is very interesting, I was curious.
We can not control the mind of our girlfriend, therefore we can not impose the will. By staying rational, and being nice, maybe it's one way to influence her mind to choose to marry us. Even if he betrayed, we should be grateful because he has shown who he really is. So we are not married by the wrong person. Oya, the title of the next post is very interesting, I was curious.
I think, Impressing is the best way to propose... Some work is not forcibly...Relation is one of them... because relation is sacred... so if we force to propose it will give bad result...