The Angel Who Broke My Heart

In Memory of a Loving Angel

I wrote about Asher being the angel who won my heart. Today, I'd like to talk about an angel named Angel who broke my heart.

Angel is a Pomeranian, she was given to me back in October 2012 by my aunt who couldn't handle anymore dogs at home. I have no idea how old was she because she was with my mum's uncle, then to my aunt and then to me. Old, young, skinny or fat, Angel will be mine.

First day in ma crib on ma bed

Angel was the best dog anyone could ever asked for. She's very disciplined. Whenever she slept in my room, she would wake me up at 7 sharp to let her out to do her business. One time I couldn't get up, she peed on my carpet. Since then, I would jump outta bed and carry her down to the backyard to let her finish her business.

I could watch this all day

Angel: "Hooman, do you mind?! Nature's calling!"

Some people thought she's a Spitz mixed. Honestly, WHO CARES if she's not pure breed?

I always wanted to take a nice wefie with Angel. But with her hyper-activeness, a good pic of ours is a rare take. To be honest, I don't think there is one. It's either I looked ugly or she looked retarded. After multiple attempts, I really felt like shooting myself. Like GIRL! Can you be serious for two seconds?

Like seriously, gimme a gun!

I was still studying in KL and she was all the way at home. I would talk about her so much to my friends and they too adore her. I mean look at that face, how not to love?! Besides, her cheerful spirit was all written on her face, captured in the photographs.

Little Helper of the Day in the Garden

She even followed me to shit

She's in fact very skinny.

Her "bedroom", aka kitchen, when I wasn't around or she's too dirty to be on my bed

There is a door to get through to kitchen. Whenever I came back from KL, I could hear her sniffing through the slit of the door. I got Angel during my long study break. I still remember when I returned home for the first time since I left home to continue my studies, she went insanely happy, whining and crying in joy I cried. I think I was the one who broke her heart, not her.

Long story short, in 2015, my cousin's dog was contracted with some sorta virus and nearly died. And I think Angel may have gotten infected because in the midst of recovery, mum brought Angel along to visit my cousin's dog. Thankfully for my cousin, her dog survived. But not Angel.

When she was sick, I was still in university. Mum forbade me to go home during weekends. She would pull the "if you come back, I'm gonna..." kinda tricks. Until a couple of months after, during my short study break, with nothing but pure joy to be able to see my baby, before I entered my house door, mum said to me "I have a bad news for you..."

My life turned upside down, I cried day and night, I hated mum, I didn't want to talk to her because she lied to me. She was gone a long time ago. My heart never felt so broken. Of all the deaths and people who left, this is the most painful one.

I couldn't think or talk about her without crying, and I'm crying like a baby now as I'm writing. Even though it's been three years, not even a slightest bit I have moved on from her death. It's just so hard to let go. This feeling is beyond words could ever describe.

I hope to see her again in Heaven so that I could tell her all the days of my life I've been missing her and I've been dying to see her again.

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