Sword Art Online Season 1 Episode 2 (A Satirical Recap)

One month has passed since the events of the first episode. Kirito is in another town about to attend the "Kill the first boss do not die conference." Diabel a stalwart knight with good looks and charisma is leading the conference. Clearly, this guy is very important and not at all disposable right? right?

Diabel tells everyone to party up, but what's this Kirito could not find a party member!? Enter waifu number 1 Asuna. Who is this mysteriously cloaked woman of beauty who is willing to party up with Kirito? Ooohhh Kirito is about to get some!

All of a sudden captain asshole appears and is like "we hate beta testers because of reasons! fuck you betas! Alpha for life!"

Mr. Clean interrupts and is like "but they gave us a guidebook... FOR FREE!" Apparently, that's enough of a reason for people to get along. So Diabel is like "Tomorrow we kill the beast, but tonight we party! wooohhh." (Wow, I'm really starting to like this guy, I hope nothing bad happens to him)

That night Kirito Shares some cream with waifu number 1 Asuna (not an innuendo).

The next day, They head out to kill the big kobold-man-bear-pig-boss on floor 1. The battle commences and it turns out Asuna is a dex type and kicks a lot of ass. They defeat the minions of the big kobold-man-bear-pig-boss and Diabel goes in for the kill. He attacks the big kobold-man-bear-pig-boss and...

gets fucking clobbered.

Kirito is like "OMG take this potion." And Diabel was like "no thanks bitch." Diabel dies.(Goddamit).

This pisses off Kirito and is like "Asuna let's tag team this bitch!" (Now that's an innuendo) Kirito kills the boss but captain asshole is like "you're a beta tester aren't you! fuck you beta!"

Kirito suddenly laughs goes full Darth Vader with black coat intact and is like, "Not only am I a beta tester I am also a cheater!" And so captain asshole is like " then you're a beater!" (Not sure if it's an innuendo) Kirito responded with "what!? no! what? you know what fuck it, yes I am a beater... A Master-Beater!... Goddamit that does not work at all. ROLL THE FUCKING CREDITS!"

That's it for now, Join me again next time! On the next SAO SATIRICAL RECAP!

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