BEASTLY TALES

THE ELUSIVE EXTROVERT

A contradiction of terms, one may think,
Extroverts aren’t generally elusive, no link,
No link at all between ultra-friendly clods,
Shying right away from miserable sods.
But that is exactly what Clyde Clutterbuck was,
An elusive extrovert. Why? Just because, because.
It seems that Clutterbuck was just born this way
Both exceptionally shy and rapaciously gay,
And when we use the word “gay” we mean,
Happy, light-hearted, mirthful, clearly seen.

“Where is Clyde?” His mother would say.
“He’s hard to find, and if I may?”
“He’s a bit of a nuisance, always being away.”
“And when he turns up he’s so very gay!”
“But then he will keep much to himself,”
“For days and days, he will hide like an elf.”

Then Clyde would become excessively outgoing,
A causal observer might conclude champagne was flowing,
But no, it was just Clyde doing his stuff,
And at least fifty percent was entirely bluff.
Slapping backs, and telling stories funny,
He would give a comedian a run for his money!
When he went out he was the life of the party.
A hale fellow well met, hale and hearty!
People couldn’t quite grasp the fact,
That this was not always how he would act.

Clyde, when he was at his most elusive,
Would retire to his room, nothing intrusive.
Introspection occupied his mind,
Any element of intrusion you couldn’t find.
And so it went on, week after week,
Return to normality looked rather bleak.
Until, one day, he decided to study,
Pharmacology, like an old fuddy-duddy.
He soon learned which drugs did this, that or the other.
And stabilized himself, to the delight of his mother.

I would hazard a guess, without rigour or fuss,
That there is a fair bit of Clyde in any of us!