"The panther grabbed me" - encounters with the Mother

in #art7 years ago

I sat in the circle of light. The sacred bonfire in the middle was crackling and conversing with itself. The ring of torches fended off the dark night beyond.

I was sitting upright on my yoga mat, "firm and strong" as they say, patiently waiting for Mother Ayahuasca to start to take hold. Dona Francisquinha, a kind and gentle"grandmother" from the Amazon in Acre (the north of Brazil), a forest healer and famous mid-wife, had already lead the circle of people in singing some songs of her people the Shawãdawa, gentle simple repetitive incantations to the elements and to love and to community and to peace. Accompanied by her daughter and son-in-law (a mountain of a man who pierces you with his gaze), and even her little grandson sleeping gently in a bundle of blankets by her feet, resplendent in pretty white clothing and crowned with an elaborate feather head-dress, they look striking in the upshot light of surrounding candles.

But now we all sat in meditative silence, contemplating the crackling bonfire, one by one entering into the force, entering into the sway of the dark raw unharnessed natural power of the Mother. Occasionally the silence was broken by the sound of gagging as one person or another slipped into the dark to purge their stomach contents into the surrounding forest vegetation, giving back to nature what they didn't want or need anymore.

I sat there a long time, and wondered maybe if tonight would be a gentle night, I didn't seem to be feeling any effect, one never knows how it's going to go. I needed to pee, so I got up and wandered towards the forest to find a quiet dark spot to squat. The very moment that I passed out of the light of the ring of torches and calmly entered into the inky darkness of the forest, without warning, I felt as though I were suddenly whacked, and had a sudden and dramatic flash vision of the face of a black panther, as though it had pounced on me, brightly fragmented into minuscule colourful geometric fractals, with fierce feline eyes. In the same instant I vomited onto the forest floor. The vision was a flash. Already it was gone, but now the forest was alive with shimmering dark green and purple shapes organically shifting and twisting in the dark, the fantastical forms of the vegetation of the Atlantic forest, ferns, palms and bromeliads, manifesting, twisting, then dissolving again into the dark. I was not alone. I felt the dark primal presence of the Mother, like the forest was breathing gently, shallowly, the forms of the foliage were moving almost like would the sinuous twisting form of a snake. A shift in reality was opening the window to the living consciousness of the forest.

And so it began.


I did the below drawing a couple of days after this ceremony to remember the striking moment that the "onça me pegou".

♪♪oia oia a onça na ponta da areia! a onça te pega e traz a certeza♪♪

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I did not take the below photo but borrowed it from "Lar Sagrado Arco Íris" who hosted Dona Francisquinha for a 'pajelança', I was very silly and never asked to take a selfie with Dona Francisquinha myself, and I generally shy away from taking lots of photos at such sensitive events, but I wanted to show you her wonderful ceremonial outfit.

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I feel so much gratitude for the moments of healing I have been afforded through contact with the shamanic and also Santo Daime communities here in Paraty, Brazil, as well of course to the various shamans, healers and witches who travel the country to share their traditions and the opportunities for healing. Ahoooo!

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lol

Your article is a great source of information, thank you Kate. I feel I need to live this experience one day. I guess it would help me in extending my spiritual knowledge and perception..most of all I'd like to see if it could have an impact in the martial art I practice..

What martial art do you practice? Yes, ayahuasca is a fantastic gateway for self-knowledge. Although no harm to try to increase self-knowledge first through meditation and shamanic practice first. I heat there are a lot of centres now in Portugal, although I know people who say they'd never consacrate it outside of the homeland of South America.

Meditation for sure...I love it. Wado-ryu karate do, old fashon traditional hard training, no exotic stuff ;-)

Oh what a blessed journey!

Hello Kate,
Thank you so much for sharing this incredible experience with us! Your writing style is wonderfully expressive, a joy to read.

Thank you also for sharing a picture of the radiant Dona Francisquinha!

Upvoted and resteemed :D

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! And thank you so much for resteeming!!!! Dona Francisquinha really is an amazing person. One day she came and spoke about her experience as a midwife. I was sat a bit too fart back to really hear everything really well, especially as Portuguese isn't my first language, but she had some great stories and really touching tales as regards child birth.

Thank you Kate!
Did Auto complete mangle your sentence or is the expression "fart back" now common parlance?! You said "I was sat a bit too fart back to really hear everything " ... I do live deep in the jungle and never watch TV so may well be out of touch!! haha JUST GOT IT ... you meant "far back" :D

Auto compltete is providing a rich new vein of humour ... and danger! ... here are a few great examples: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/the-30-most-hilarious-autocorrect-struggles-ever?utm_term=.hnG3v5dX5e#.yt2068Ad8K

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

I am so happy for you to have experienced such a deep and healing journey! If you would write a book about your experiences I would definately read it! Your post is so exciting to read! And the picture you made is simply beautiful and strong! What a blessed experience!
I hope to meet the great mother of Ayahuasca one day, too! I had the honor to meet other plant ghosts and it was so beautiful I cried like a child as I was so touched and thankful. I totally understand they call them sacred plants!

Where to begin - such an amazing journey - but also kinda private - haven't quite reached the "oh f$% it" stage quite yet of deciding to share those stories online. And yes - what an amazing plant spirit, the grandmother of them all!

Didn't want to convince you to talk about your very private experiences :) I respect you to want to keep it to yourself. I also don't tell everything about my journeys online as it gets very deep and intimate on a very special level. So I am the last one to tell someone who made similar experiences to tell me every detail :)
I just wanted you to know that your story touched me and I really enjoyed reading it! :)
Thank you for sharing!

I hear that you shouldn't search for the dear spirit of the grandmother but wait until she comes into your life.
I feel a positive resonance inside me by thinking about this statement. What do you think about that? Would you advice the same? :)

Hmmmm. I guess I think that's good advice. But also if you feel within yourself that it is something you want to do then it doesn't seem like there is any harm in seeking it... nd no doubt if it is meant to be then it'll all fall into place smoothly :) It very much came to me without me having to seek it, I had been thinking to go on an epic journey to seek it and then it came straight to me :)

Thank you so much for your answer! :) Nice to get advice from an experienced psychonaut :)
I made some very deep experiences and now feel ready, excited and honoured to meet the great mother Ayahuasca! :)

Lovely. Are you thinking to travel to South America? I've actually heard of ceremonies taking place in Germany.

Yes, I actually plan to do so! :) I would love to travel through South America and visit a lot of magical places and have a ceremony with experiences shamans in the wonderul forest! :) Yes, there are actually ceremonies in Germany, but they are pretty expensive so I need to save money :) But I guess I prefer doing it in the wild nature instead of a room in Berlin. From mushrooms etc. I know how wonderful nature is when you are on a journey :)

Well yes, if you have the time and resources to go to South America that would obviously be the best. Don't go paying for any expensive retreats, in Brazil you should be looking at maximum 120 reais for a ceremony, I'm sure it would be more or less the same in the other countries. Do try to find out about reputability of ayahuasceiros before taking the plunge.
Workaway is a very popular site for people travelling in South America low-cost.

Nice post and drawing, thanks for sharing!
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Glad you enjoyed!

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Have not seen or heard from you ...thinking of you ...hope all is well.

Awe thanks :) Nice to know I'm missed. Currently life is happening in a more critical proportion than Steemit... I'm moving continent on Monday and the run-up to it has more than a dollop of utter chaos as I am trying to tie things up in Brazil and be organised!

I so get it! Safe travels...hope all goes well!
Melissa

Thanks!! aAaaaahhh!

Glad you like! Have you done any more collages recently?

Yes I did - this time a painting - yet unfinished :)

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Will make a blog post when I feel it's done. But I guess it will take very long. Maybe a year - it goes very much in details and it is my first painting with oil on canvas. U remember the white board?

Oh nice!! I can see how that could evolve little by little, buildin up all the little details. Is the little boy you??

No, this is little Dad!! Little little :)

Best thing on the planet, sounds like you were right at the threshold when you got up to go visit the darkness. :)

Thanks :) I just did it with kids colouring pencils and a good dark 5B pencil!