Mean Ol’ Crooked Gunslingers

There once was an old town named Tinsel Bonanza
Where these two crooked gunslingers would hang out
They put holes into the poor deputy and sheriff
Wreaking havoc the townsfolk would scream and shout

The two crooks were a peculiar pair with wild schemes
Quick Slick Rick was tired of living off paltry means
Both fed up with the struggle wanting some fast cash
Gun Slinging Gus was sick of eating pork and beans

Bartender Bill came up with a great plan to bury them
He told Sexy Saloongirl Sally real looker of a lass
They were going to take back this town from the crooks
She was the perfect partner hot-to-trot with lots of sass

The mean gunslingers would come carousing at night
Galloping over to the town’s saloon for some fun
Sexy Sally wearing racy silk dresses just for them
Drinking until the sun comes up at the horizon

Preacher’s daughter, Pami, invited crooks over for tea
Gave them wrong address gunslingers would never know
They weren’t from that town anyway such a perfect plan
Someone cleaned their pistol waiting for them to show

Old lady on porch greeted two men as they approached
Quick Slick Rick and Gun Slinging Gus had come knocking
But Sexy Sally answered putting two bullets into them
Grandma’s deaf and sits peacefully on her chair rocking