Paganism is an umbrella term used for the Earth based faiths. Wicca is it's own, as well as a witch. You can be a Wiccan but not a Witch and vise versa. As far as just getting wasted, I have known many Witches & Wiccans and they don't get all messed up, you must have been with a bad circle.
Yes it would be nice if doing a spell was like Samantha on bewitched, where things appear out of thin air but it isn't. One has to work for what they want and the divine will help point you in the right direction, say for a job. But spells do work, I assure you :)
You speak of the Goddess, and I feel you are truly still interested in the craft. do what makes you happy, but maybe this time look at it from another direction and a new circle of like minded.
Blessed Be )0(