confession story. #20
Female, 25
Minnesota
There is so much things i want to confess in a so much little time that i dont know what to express or not .
8 months ago i came to this country. Life here was way much different that life that i had imagine. I knew what to do and what to dont. I knew how strong i should be to face this world and i thought i was ready for it. Like every human being i was excited for this life and was sad for the part of that were left behind. Everything was smooth and good . Then i realized that people who i thought were mine here were not . They helped me alot but they werent actually mine and i began to feel alone , miss home mom dad everything . I have a boyfriend back there and we both loved eachother so much and we are so true . Then one day i met a guy . He was my class mate and he was from Nepal. They only Nepali in my class. We began to talk and we became close. I shared my things with him how pathetic i was feeling inside. How scared i am in this world . I thought him of any other guy that dont care about you but actually he cared . Even he knew i was in realtionship with someone else. He did so much for me . He found me my first job. Helped me move out to a new place . Showed me this world and how things are here . He even cooked for me and brought food to me when i was hungry in the middle of night. He did so much small things that mattered a lot . On the another hand my things were my boyfriend was going smooth. I used to see this guy everyday . We used to go places and eat out and we were literally like any couple but i belong to someone else . One night we were together and we got physical. Dont jugde me now. I know its wrong and i know i have boy friend in Nepal but i cant help it . Suddenly i feel so shit about it . I felt like i have cheated on my boyfriend. I do love my boyfriend i really do . He matters to me alot but i cant stop having these wrong feel about things and this guy , who basically made my life possible here matters to me too.
I am completely broken and shatterd. What is next ?