happy birthday to me

Sheltering solo during the pandemic of 2020 means I’m celebrating my birthday alone. I had my traditional midnight champagne toast and took this photo. Yay timer button and iPad stand 🎉🎉 My brother kept me company on speaker phone as a fiddled between shots trying to replicate midnight birthday toast of JNET 2010. Did I do a good job? I still had and fit in my lavender dress and I wore less makeup. I didn’t put on lashes or mascara.

I had to change location of shot. I’ve since painted my dining area green but the same red background shade remained in my living room.

I had my big cry during Easter missing my family, friends, teaching in person, and doing my own grocery shopping. I made peace with my solitude after realizing that even though I’ve not enjoyed the company of others in two months, I’ve never felt lonely. Trinity’s made peace with the quarantine too as she sits in the car park connected to a trickle charger. I may need to call AAA to bring and install a brand new battery. No rush. The governor has extended the lockdown til August. August!!! I don’t know about that.

I think my one good cry was all I needed. I’m enjoying a group video call with my nieces on a weekly basis now. They tell me about online school and show me their toys and masks. Mom has figured out how to do a video call but favors phone calls and texts. And I have enough nurses, doctors, lawyers, and mental health specialists in my life through my students. No one is going to let me fall off the edge.

My mind won’t be betrayed by my eyes. I’m fortunate to shelter in a beautiful space that is decorated with lovely mementos from loved ones. My surroundings are decorated with happy memories. And I have my piano to be my voice and conversation to fill the silence. Neighbors leave bouquets at my door to bring fresh cheer into my home.

The Quarantine Bouquets of the 2020 Shelter-in-Place Pandemic!

Carnations lasted a month! Even though they were on their last legs, I still enjoyed the sentiments they came with.

They were then replaced by gladioli.

But those started to expire quickly and so I added plants from my patio garden to update the floral arrangement. It’s difficult to get depressed when you’re greeted by flowers every time you go through your living room.

Now, I have vases of flowers in my living room, my bedroom, and at the piano! It’s impossible for bad chatter to fill my head with so many flowers around me. J’s 2 dozen roses for my birthday took my flower party to a new level.

I’m not free from worry and frustration. I spend a lot of time online reading and wondering about the future of the world and my life. The stimulus check isn’t enough and I can’t hope that the government will save me. But, my uncertain world is full of people that certainly love and care about me.

Many of the parents and my adult students check on me outside of our lesson time. It’s nice to hear that even their pets miss me even though I see that the family pets come into the piano rooms when they hear their favorite human do their piano thing.

Everyone is concerned how I’m handling the solitude. It’s very very surreal not being around people. I’m thinking I’d probably handle astronaut life fine as long as I can keep everyone in my Ground Control Team. The video calls, texts, and online interactions keep me afloat. And I feel over the moon from the gifts, cards, and flowers. I’m not feeling remotely shabby being alone during this quarantine. I’m single and don’t have any pets but my LOVE LIFE feels LUSH.

And I’m going to drink champagne to celebrate happy birthday to me feeling grateful in my solitude.

Cheers!

JNET