Probably Everyone Has Thought About It
Yesterday, I couldn't fall asleep, and one thought kept bothering me: damn it, what's wrong with this world? For example, there's this guy I know - let's call him Joe. He worked his damn life, never sparing himself. Thirty years at some warehouse, thawing his hands in winter, working among roaring machines. He never took anything extra, never backstabbed anyone. If he promised, he kept his word, even when there was no money to pay for electricity. And now? Now he's retired, counting pennies, trying to figure out if it's enough for medicine or food this week. Every month is like Russian roulette: will there be enough money for rent, or is it time to sell his car and hope that the bus still passes by his house. Maybe he just wasn't confident enough, and that's how his life turned out? Perhaps.
And his neighbor - let's call him Donald - this guy climbed heads all his life. Lying, deceiving, cutting corners. Corruption runs in his blood. I'm sure Donald never stood in line at a regular clinic because he has a personal doctor. By fifty, he already has three houses, each with a "Tesla" parked outside. He vacations in the Maldives, as if it were a trip to the grocery store. Do you think he cares that Joe can barely make ends meet, trying to buy medicine? Fair? Well, sure. Damn, why do I still like the idea of justice? I do not know... I think it's the fault of good books. Maybe it would be better if they were hidden from me.
Here's another example for you. One guy drinks like a fish from college. A can of beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other, every day. And what? This guy lives to 80, or even more. And the other? He does crossfit, counts calories, drinks green juices, not a drop of alcohol, not a single puff. This one probably even checks his cholesterol every year and sets aside money for health. And what? By 50, his heart gives up, and all those kale smoothies don't save him. Maybe if he drank and smoked, he would have died sooner. But it turned out the way it did...
No rules. No guarantees. No one tells you, "Hey, live right, be a good person, and life will reward you." It's all a deception. Life is not a savings account where you can invest effort and get stability and reliability. You can be the most honest and hardworking person in the world, and end up old, poor, arguing with the insurance company over basic medicines. And the scammer from the next street? He's riding through life with a million in the bank and feels great. And since he wasn't caught and didn't go to jail, people will say, "Oh, yes, this guy lives right, he's smart and deserving. I want my son to be like him. Hell, I'll even name my son after him. And maybe both - son and daughter. And the dog. The dog too".
Maybe that's the meaning of life - in its chaos and unpredictability. You never know what's next, blah blah blah. But you know what? I don't like it. This randomness, this game where you don't know when the next blow under the belt will come. Is it interesting? Maybe. But sometimes, all this "interest" makes you want to vomit.
The image by Mike Chai is taken from pexels.com
https://www.pexels.com/@Mike-Chai-285623
