Diary of An Anxious Millennial #4- Empath at a Funeral

This week a close friend of mine lost her mother. It is really saddening even though I didn’t know her mother for very long. She was a sweet, kind, quick witted woman. I went to the funeral which is always an extremely uncomfortable event for me regardless of who has passed. The quietness of funeral homes and the open casket always creeps me out. It is tradition for most people to have a Wake in the funeral home with an open casket, which is something I have never understood. Regardless I went to pay my respects because she was very important to my boyfriend who introduced me to her.

The part of funerals that is incredibly hard for me is the emotional pain of loss. I am an emotionally sensitive person and I consider myself to be an empath, which is someone who can not only understand but feel others’ feelings as deeply as if they are your own. When I enter a room full of heavy hearts I can feel every ounce of everyone’s pain. I felt everyone’s tears and the lumps that rest heavy in their throats. A buzzing started happening in my head and I got very overwhelmed.

All I wanted to do was hug every person in that room and take every ounce of pain away. Losing a loved one is one of the hardest experiences anyone ever faces in life. I could relate to how my friends young children must have felt. I lost my Grandmother when I was young and death is something that I never understood or expected. Their sadness hit me especially hard because it brought me back to my experience with that loss. The pain is indescribable.

This post is very short and just an update on life.

The image I used is my grandparents grave site, when I graduated college. They meant the world to me and I was reminded of them and the loss of them at the funeral today. Life is precious, hold those you love close.