How important is sex in a relationship?
How important is sex in a relationship?
I hear left and right, people who complain that their sexual life has been ruined.
The parties are becoming rarer, nonexistent, the passion no longer boils like a pot on fire, the magic from the beginning has gone.
I used to put straw on the fire (on the fallen fire of passion) and to ask the cry: But what have you done for intimate life lately?
And when I ask the question, I get a lot of high eyebrows and wonder how another is not. I mean, let the interlocutor ask me, do I even have to move a finger if I want to have a fulfilled sexual life? Does not anyone give me a magic wand, at the beginning of the relationship, with which to solve this problem without strain of effort? Well, no.
The time has come to stop thinking of your intimate life as something that comes, is being maintained, resolves itself. The passion that gave us out of the house at the beginning is extinguished and is perfectly normal - flirting, the new, hormonal storm come and go.
But that does not mean that he writes "resignation" on the foreheads of all, and that only some really lucky people still keep the spark of the times. Replace "lucky" with "workers", and I will be pleased. All you have to do is just put the convenience down from the bed and really go to work. What do I mean by working hard sex? I'll explain right away.
"You're not the one from the beginning ..."
How good would it be if we could turn into the eternity the tumult of sexual life from the onset of any relationship! It can not, however, and immediately after months of honey from the beginning must follow the months of toil in relationship. Desire does not arise simply when we meet someone and then quietly flicker to deep old age like a candle on our grandmother's bedside Sunday after liturgy. For wish you must work!
Most relationships get into a sexual impasse just because the two actors are forgetting it - the shaken man, anointed with all the owls, adventurous in bed, curious to discover new positions, turns slowly but surely into his life-remembering companion Just how much the bill was up to last month than when it was the last time she had sex with half.
We are fat, annoyed, we stress, do not communicate, we hide in the backs of smaller problems, so we do not have to manage the big ones, we lie, we masturbate, we deceive, we picture the perfect couple and then, there We did not, we think, the lightning-like words "divorce" or "divorce" enter the scene. And we start to complain that we do not understand where we were wrong, what did not go according to the plan, why it did not work like that in the couples awarded by the mayoralties with a dancing tea for 50 years of cohabitation. Because, dear ones, I did not work!
Until the pounds will split us
Many years ago I read that a Romanian actor, Claudiu Bleonţ, to be precise, signed a kind of contract before marriage with his partner at that time. One of the provisions specifically attracted me. According to her, none of them was allowed to gain more than 5 kilograms (as it were) during the marriage. In the first two seconds he revolted, and then I woke up thinking "what a good idea!" The fattening of one of the partners occupies a place suuus all in the ranking of the reasons for choosing the dust of sexual life.
A study of women and their situation on the scales after vows said that one in five grew from becoming a lady (no gentlemen left behind). And gentlemen are lying more and more often on one ear and more and more rarely with their wives since they begin to round. Suddenly, it is relatively easy to explain the high rate of divorce after one of our partners is dramatically weakening.
The indifference placed in the relationship of couple - but also in the relationship with ourselves, because we do not know how hard we love if we leave the scales willing - can not lead to anything good. The surplus of kilos kills the passion, makes us indulge and throws us into a laziness that hardly hurts us anymore. So when I say to work for sex, I refer also to the point of going to the room or the healthy eating properly and balanced.
Menage-a-trois with Mr. Job
You no longer remember exactly when you had the last orgasm, but can you pour out the same way as the Luceafar in the high school had the whole list of professional duties waiting? Then you also make part of the numerous clubs of those who put their personal life - and, implicitly, sexual - out of service.
We all start at 7am with a mountain of things to do, but it is extremely important to know when to say "stop tomorrow!". Relationships are extremely easy to break down when professional tasks feed on the time that's only necessary for you two. So quickly you can break even if your professional life leaves it desirable - so this balance is only achieved by, you guessed, a lot of work.
It's easy to get home exhausted by who knows how many hours of office and hiding in a bag of chips with which you fell asleep in your arms in half an hour. But how good is it for you?
You have to keep the balance between too much work and too little sex under control. And communicate enough with your partner (s) on this topic - it's important to get together to find the ideal formula for working hours, hours with you, hours of your head.
How important is sex in a relationship? I suspect you've heard the question. Very, I tell you, and now I'm let you thinking.
With love,
@dianamihaela
I think it is very important. But as Esther Perel says (I recommend everyone to read her work) this is the paradox: the more intimate we get to be with our partners the more our sexual drive towards them gets lower. Very often we lose our individuality because we get so into making the relationship work. There is no more "I", there is only "we". We think that this helps a relationship but it is exactly the opposite. I think we each have to have our own thing: travel alone sometimes, go out with our friends without our partners, have a hobby or a passion that doesn't include the other, etc. And also very important: don't demand things, don't impose anything. Love is freedom. Here's one of my favorite videos on this topic: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship
For me, sex is important in a relationship. relationship without sex is really boring, but it does not guarantee the longevity of ones relationship. It is just a small factor. But as I can see on the comment right now, most of the girl say's this is "very important". From now on I'll keep in mind when I'm already in a relationship again "sex is very important". (grin smiley) :D
I think it's not about someone "resignating" from something. I read some documented content on this topic. It seems that most of us are programmed to get comfortable with our significant other, no matter how strong is passion at first or how much one "works" in the relationship. Biology may be the main culprit for everything :)) and if that's the case pointing fingers is useless and stressfull. Cheers!
Play alone or go home! :))
Thank you for the feedback!
Cheers!
=)))))
It is very important. In today's fast-paced life it is very important to connect with each other not just emotional but also on a sexual bases.
True my friend!
lol, i love this!... and I can say it is also important :) it makes bonds stronger between 2 people ;)
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No doubt...