Things I've been meaning to say..

I was living my life quietly, gotten used to doing things alone, grown comfortable with my space.. And then I met you.. I thought at first you are just a passerby.. Some acquaintance.. Little did I know you'll eventually shake my world..
I was at the point of my life where i can say i am ready.. Ready to love.. Ready for someone.. Unfortunately certain circumstances make me think twice.. I can't gamble it.. I don't have the courage to go for it.. I was afraid.. Afraid of the uncertainty of the situation.. Afraid to eventually loose everything.. Days have past, weeks came next and then months, and i know years would just come by.. I miss you.. I miss our talks.. I miss comforting you,. I miss you comforting me.. If I could go back in time, i would certainly choose that very day where I first met you.. I could vividly remember that fateful day.. How you look.. How you tend to be so shy while talking to me.. If I could go all over it again, I would.. To the point where I'd get fed up and eventually warn my past self of the upcoming storm.. But then i would still choose to fall all over again even if it means hurting as well..

I'm tired.. Tired of holding on to uncertainty but had gotten addicted to it as well..

You are the one. I want to believe that. I was ready to believe that, but just as how evil fate could be.. It's as if a pail of boiling water thrown directly at my face.. I can't.. I should not.. You want somebody else.. It would have been easier if that somebody was no one for me.. But then again, wishes don't always come true..All i could do now is wish you well.. Hope to see you smile everyday.. Be happy with what you have.. I could not bring myself to admit this foolishness.. I could not be the one to bring you pain.. I could not bring myself to do that.. Though at times, I was and could have been ready to fight for what I feel.. But I just can't..

I'll try.. Try to move on with my life..
Try to look myself somewhere else.. Try to smile despite the storm i'm enduring deep inside..

Guess I've tried everything but I still couldn't forget you... I didn't want to forget you.. No matter how I smile and get busy with my life, at the end of the day.. I curl up on my bed and relive the pain.. Listening to your song.. I couldn't help myself from tearing up..

I'll get over this.. Don't worry.. Everything has already been starting to become a memory.. A bittersweet memory.. A memory torn between keeping and forgetting.. And if fate permits, I hope I could see you in the next lifetime again.