LUST UNSPOKEN

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I’ve always believed I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t, but this time I didn’t know anymore as my lips brushed hers, I never thought I would ever be courageous enough to do it but this time I did. Something about it just didn’t feel right, I have always thought my first kiss with her would feel like an heavenly bliss but no, it didn't. We were in bed cuddling, I loved the scent of her skin and the silky texture of her hair, holding her that close was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but
this time I was determined to let it all out. As I held her in my arms, I felt this ease at first but then I started feeling the hug getting tighter, I wasn’t sure if it was me or if that was her way of saying she also wanted me as much as I wanted her, moving in this slow but intense rhythm, it didn’t feel like cuddling anymore, I couldn’t help it anymore so I started running my hand through her hair and rubbing her back, why didn't I just stop there I asked myself but I felt this throbbing feeling in my lower body and this intense need to grab her bum but no, I didn’t do it because I heard her panting and I felt I was doing something so wrong, but then she pushed herself towards me and started running her fingers down my neck, my 7th sense kept telling me to go further but I was unsure if it was the right thing to do so I stopped, then she uncomfortably pushed herself away from me and I felt the unsaid awkwardness between us, Could this be the end of us? Is this how I'm going to lose my dear friend? How can I be so stupid I thought, then if heard her say, “I have to go” then I thought to myself, “would she ever come back? Would she ever see me as a friend again?”
Now she probably thinks I'm just like every other guy who just wants a piece of her. How would I convince her that wasn't my intensions? Over a month is gone and I still haven't heard from her; no calls, no texts. She just went totally off the grid, I cursed that day, I hated myself for giving into my lust.

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I miss her so much and then one day without a call, she came to my crib. She knew the combination to my door lock so she let herself in, I was so happy to know that she was back you could literally see the happiness in my sad eyes, we spent time talking and I found myself apologizing half way through the conversation I really couldn't help it. When she was set to leave, I walked her to the door and we hugged. It felt like yesterday, the yesterday I so feared and cursed, all my lustful thoughts came rushing into my head all at once and I couldn't help it so I pulled her closer and dived in for a kiss, moving my hand to her bum giving it a firm grab then I stopped, hoping to find any form of approval from her and then i got it she kissed my neck. This was all I needed to know I wasn’t in any way upsetting her, I tilted her head forward and started kissing her lips so intensely, my hand found its way to her bosom - Lord were they big and full!
At this point, I didn't see myself stopping. I wanted to go further. I knew I could, her body was all I'd dreamt about in a very long time but something unknown to me kept telling me to stop, that this would ruin all we had and shared, but no I didn'd listen. I wanted to fill her up with my cock and experience this forbidden pleasure with her, I wanted to hear her call out my name, I wanted to feel her dig into my skin with her fingers. These were all I wanted but I never thought for one moment what she wanted. Maybe she felt guilty for leaving for that long and that was why she came back, maybe she wanted this or maybe not, but how would I know? She never really says the truth if she feels it would hurt a person remotely. Slowly, I stopped and felt this disgust with myself for destroying something so good and special. She reached out for her jacket she hung by the door, I tried getting clues from the look on her face but it was expressionless. Just how angry is she? She probably thinks I was never her friend and that my friendship was just a calculated move to get her in my bed. What was I to do? Can I turn back the hand of time and make a promise that this would never happen again? But then, I’m sure she wouldn't believe me because I said that few minutes ago. So many thoughts went through my head but all I did was watch her leave, I’m sure I’ll never see my best friend again. THE END