Universe Improvement Proposal #2851: Planetary Angular Velocity Reduction
UIP: 2851
Layer: Reality (hard fork)
Title: Planetary Angular Velocity Reduction
Author: @lemony-cricket <spam [at] lemony [dot] cricket>
Comments-Summary: Discourage for implementation (@enjar, @svemirac)
Comments-URI: http://lemony.cricket/universe-improvement-proposal-2851-planetary-angular-velocity-reduction
Status: Draft
Type: Standards Track
Created: 2018-02-12
License: WTFPL
Abstract
By slowing Earth's rotation, we can lengthen the Earth day from twenty-four to thirty hours. This will increase productivity and reduce stress in the human population.
Image from pixabay
Motivation
The day is too damn short. There isn't enough time to get shit done. The author of this UIP hasn't written a blog post in over two weeks now, and it's really killing me. I feel the hype building and it's paralysed me. I've set an expectation; if I have been gone this long, I must have been working on something amazing, right?
Wrong. The day is too damn short. Did I say that already? I didn't have to ask that. I know the answer, and so do you, so let's move on. The point is... ahem... as I was saying...
If we make the day longer, people will have more time to do important things like sleep, unwind, and write Steemit posts.
Specification
As currently defined in the protocol, the planet Earth currently rotates about its vertical axis with an angular velocity of 0.000072921159 radians per second. This means that it completes a rotation roughly once every 23 hours and 56 minutes.
It is suggested to change this constant to 0.0000583 radians per second. This would result in a full rotation taking a much more comfortable 29 hours and 56 minutes. This would have the net effect of lengthening the solar Earth day by roughly six hours.
Rationale
Six hours is chosen because it is just enough time to lengthen the day without needing to sleep more. Who is honestly tired after seventeen hours of wake time? We are faced with two choices: take a sleep aid to get to sleep on time, or stay up late and take caffeine in the morning. The thirty hour day fixes all that by enabling a twenty-three hour wake cycle. This has been scientifically determined by scientists [citation needed] to be the optimal length of time to get shit done and be exhausted enough to sleep for the full recommended seven hour period.
Risks
Some stakeholders may object to this UIP because they find themselves tired already at the end of an seventeen hour wake cycle. Possible mitigation angles are increased caffeine consumption (because who doesn't love coffee, right?) or simply using all or some of extra time to sleep more.
There are some concerns about how calendars would work under this system. This is out of scope for this UIP, simply because the author ran out of time, a problem this UIP would fix should it be implemented. So deal with that, then.
Copyright
This UIP is licensed under the Do What The Fuck You Want To Public Licence (WTFPL). 🍋
How to get an upvote from me today: Do you agree that days are too freakin' short? Have concerns about what broader effects such a change could have on our already delicate ecosystem? Empathise with my cause? Think I belong in a nuthouse? All comments are welcome.
I don't really agree that prolonging the day would increase the productivity. Maybe in the future with some interference of evolution. But we are still not use to 30hr days. Many people complain about having 20/24 hours of daily light in the polar regions.
And slowing Earth's rotation would have impact on the oceanic tides and most likely impact the Earth-Moon relations, not to mentions all the mantle movements inside the Earth. :) I think it is a bad idea, better sacrifice a bit of social life, but not so much. After all, sanity and joy should be cherish more than wealth and titles.
Cheers! :)
There is chance this is purely comical.
@svemirac, I admire your in-depth analysis and refutation of the proposal I made entirely in jest. It's the sort of thing I would do, which is why you get my full upvote today. :)
I am all out of time for sanity and joy. Unfortunately, I also have no wealth, nor title, to show for it. What does that make of me? A damn fool, then, right? Clearly, I should quit my life, and move to the jungle, where I will mingle with an undiscovered civilisation of tree-people and spend the remainder of my days seeking out a pet ocelot.
Okay, maybe a little too much joy, and not enough sanity. Oh well.
As a time traveling cat I’ll just show myself the door. HUMANS wanting longer days -haha!
You will have now less birthdays and Christmas in your lifetime.
Those graveyard shifts would even worse. Lets not forget the people who have to be on call for an entre day cycle. Now they would have to be on call for 29 hours when many of them where already struggling with 24 hours.
This would also be breaking a lot of payment cycles. Company would raise their rates. For people who don't already manage their time well enough let alone their finance that going be more troubling for them.
I guess under 29 hour days they can have 4 part time jobs instead of 3.
Stop... making.... sense! Ugh. Take your tuna-flavoured upvote and scram! Bad kitty!
Just go to Mars. It may not be the extra 6 hours you hoped for, but you would be surprised what you can get done in an extra 40 minutes per day.
I think Mars is overrated. I mean sure, we've got tons of books and movies and rovers and plans to colonise it and everything... but isn't Mars just an example of what Earth will one day become when the sun expands and boils the flesh from our bones? We're going the wrong way! Terraforming Venus is the clear path forward.
Venus is absolutely the place to colonize, but we don't even need to terraform it. We can live in the clouds.
But the 2802 hour long day is a bit longer than you wanted to stay up.
No big deal. I'll just have to adopt a polyphasic sleep cycle.
Just stop looking out the window and have a 43 hour day if you want. It doesn't matter. Just make your own calendar. That's what I do. It's July if I say it's July.
I stopped looking out the window years ago. There's nothing to see out there. I have been trying to make my own calendar for years, but I keep getting fired from my jobs when they refuse to recognise "Funday."
Funny you mention it. I once got fired on a Funday for being late.
I could use 6 more hours each day. I love to sleep so, I could sleep an extra 3 hours a day PLUS get an extra 3 hours of shit done so I wouldn't feel guilty for sleeping 3 extra hours. This is the most amazing idea I've heard in a while actually. You should run for Supreme Ruler of All That Is Was And Ever Will Be. Elections are coming up, get a team together.
Hey @adammillwardart! Thanks for your support for my UIP. I think we're in the minority, and I've already marked it "Discourage for implementation" accordingly. But I admire your enthusiasm.
Why don't you be my running mate? Together, we'll Make the Universe Great Again. I've already registered the trademark and got us an office and website and--
Oh... I'm seeing here that our campaign office has already received 3 envelopes full of all-purpose baking flour, we've got 482 death threats on Twitter, and our website is being DDoSed.
Was it something we said? :(
I'm fully in favor of this proposal. My circadian rhytm is lagging behind constantly often leading to sleepless nights and inability to function properly the following day.
Oh sure, now the proponents show themselves when it's already been marked "Discourage for implementation!" Oh well.
Thanks for your support for my initiative! Watch this space.
I used to never sleep just go go go go go.
The older I get the more I see the value. I’m totally in.
It’s just a little rotation.
This post was great. I died on the public license.