Do You Have A Darkside?
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Intellectual property of the author removed by the author (me) on 4/22/2021 for the sake of removing any visible blogs on the surface of the condenser interface. Here, I once upon a time publicly shared information like a regular blog but I wish to remove my family photos from the internet. Thank you for your continued love over the years. I will post my poetry, photography, and other work that doesn't include my children.
If you really want to see the old post, feel free to explore the block explorer. xoxo
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Curiously my grandmother who I know loved me her own way also shaped me and made me feel awkward with myself. " You are so pale, too delicate will wither soon" Her encouraging sentence used to be " you are not pretty like your cousins but at least you are smart". I barely took pics of myself until mid 20s. I take selfpotraits today as an exercise of acceptance. We are around the same age.
About shadows... I come from a different kind of shadow... A shadow that walks with me, we jump together from shade to shade, light is hurting sometimes. I befriended my fears and became one in part. Up is the mystery one day I will explain.
The article can make you cry, but this comment makes me laugh! I can imagine you thinking, "please kick the bucket grandma".
As children, few of us (and maybe it's more female than males) feel resentful towards our elders for their remarks. Hence why they so deeply affect us all.
Thank you for sharing @yidneth. ♥️ Tis my bday so I haven't been able to check all of my notifications. I deeply appreciate your contribution to this post. Indeed, generational differences can be so vast le sigh Sometimes I wonder if it was just the child-rearing trend or what.
Befriending fears is a whole process in itself, one I don't have words for. I hope one day you DO explain. Feel free to tag me if you ever decide to write on such things. I'd very much enjoy reading them.
Oh... I will... I know a lot about shadows can become one sometimes... that's my superpower :)
but yes, maybe not with bad intentions... but sometimes adults can mess it up :)
by the way happy birthday hope you had a great one!
@yidneth Thank you, it was pleasant 😍.
The shadow work is the best bit. It's where all the gold is hidden.
The Positive Thinking movement has a lot to answer for.
Thanks for your comment @eftnow I agree with you about the buried treasure. Mostly here speaking on how things end up in the darkness to begin with. As adults, I believe we put more in our own unconscious and skeleton graves than that which was ever shoved in there by others anyway. But that's another blog. ♥️
Just by reading this post I am thinking of instances where I as shamed and how it changed me, how I retreated and changed how I am just to be accepted to feel that I am not divergent.
When you are young you want to belong.
@maverickinvictus I think in ways we all want to somehow belong, or at least know we can if we wanted to belong.♥️
I had never heard of this shadow part before actually but your example makes really good sense.
I think often totally do not realize how their behavior affects other in their way of thinking or what finding normal.
example: I was grown up living with the kids who also lived in my neighborhood. girls AND boys. we had slumberparties till about the age of 12, still girls AND boys.
I mentioned this to my caribbean colleagues a while back when living there. They found it unacceptable as parents. slumberparties..?? and with boys even??
I find they are forgetting that at that age sexuality is not a taboo as yet and kids should feel comfy about it.
Now what reality in the caribbean is is a skyhigh teenage pregnancy rate (im talking like 12/13 years old)....i dont know it there is a connection, but it sure as hell wont help I guess.
im not finding my words really but you catch my drift right?
Those types of connections aren't imaginary dear @katinxxl and not some form of coincidental synchronicity. Blind studies have been done over and over on the dynamics of influence. It's just a very uncomfortable topic for many of us to broach, never-mind, entertain. As is the idea of a dark-side— alone, it has many stigmas attached.
What a beautiful read Omi... im almost angry at you for making me emotional...
Thanks for reading @meno. That's meaningful to me. ♥️
So I waited to read this post, more so that I could savor the flavor and I am so happy I did. Firstly what a wonderful writer you are, I gotta say thank you for continually impressing with quality and finesse. Secondly I appreciate all these insightful responses.
I see shadow as an aspect of greater self. Greater as expansive rather than any better or worse. To be free from my subconscious judgements around duality feels liberating to me. Perhaps "me" as in the perceived separation from primordial existence LOL! You, me, light, dark, good, bad and granny; aren't they all synonymous reflections and projections in the sense that no one exists without the other? From absolute there is no separation, right?
Anyway, not to go too far on an existential tangent. I love the recollection of this story. The vividness of the scenes and the sharpness of the details. What speaks to me is the paradox of how at such an early age we detach from that which we spend a life time reconnecting? To simply be here now.
What I mean to say is perhaps after going the long way round, shadow work exists purely to provide both basis and contrast that helps one feel that this whole thing appears "real". For how else is this life ledger, this genetic block chain of any value to us?
Thanks for sharing your currency, shadows and all. Great read.
Omi, you got talent coming out your ears. Existence can be complex, huh? But it's the in-between bits, the liminal bits, the shadowy bits, that are often richest, and together, as you suggest, they go a long way to making us what we are as individuals. I actually don't do birthdays, but for you - as Lenny Cohen once sang - I'll make an exception. Happy birthday when it comes. :o)
Ha. Thanks @gussiefinknottle. I think it's just wax. ;) ew lol
Thank you for the early birthday wishes.
Yeh, could be wax, now you mention it. Could have sworn it was writing talent. :o)
You're welcome - have a great day and spoil yourself.
Our life is a blockchain. A permanent immutable ledger. I'm glad you picked up on that. I recently heard John McAfee say something like that in an interview. When we start to pick up on the idea of the blockchain and realize it's just a ledger of life. A record of events. It becomes more philosophical that just currency. And, realizing the implications of a technology that can record life the way that ancient scrolls did, but in real time is beyond the imagination of most people. This will change and already is changing the way we live. It's gonna be hard to try to change history when it's written in a fucking blockchain. And, we've never had this capability before now.
It's possibly even more relevant with the economy included, because we value events in our life according to our own protocols and then measure the value of our life to ourself — maybe even of others. Wow.
Excellent point. We do that whether consciously or subconsciously. And, it very obvious on social media that people are constantly comparing their lives to others. Whether that's healthy or not is up for question.
@cpnjacksparrow Pretty sure its unhealthy but no personal judgement 🙏
I agree. It usually is. With the exception of motivation to do things better. But, even that is subjective. If you're happy, you're happy. We would all be a lot happier if we didn't compare ourselves. I'm sure the cause of this is evolutionary in a sense. But, it's also programmed into us. Consumerism is not natural.
@cpnjacksparrow I would have to debate that. Perhaps not consumer'ism" but consumption is quite natural. I also think our reactions to things like the perception of scarcity is natural (all mammals experience this.) Although being intelligent enough to create a false-sense of scarcity at a complex level may be intellectually different. I'd have to observe some other primates to see if they hide food from each other 😂 . I agree that motivation is very subjective. Comparing I think is evolutionary but also (as is competition) but I gather when adults do it excessively (keyword excessively because we all do sometimes) it can be a sign of some kind of arrested development or anxiety disorder. No condemnation toward illness but if anxiety becomes an illness it's worthwhile to check all external interpretations against the possibility of being "Just paranoid." %%%Shrugs%% Idk, I'm no doctor. But perhaps I need to ask one lolololol
Honestly this post was a great read.
Personally I don't believe in a shadow self just in pure nature, its all survival strategy.
When some one approaches most situations with violence and aggression its because they have found it to be on average a succesful strategy, where someone approches life with cold logic its because on averages being able to remain calm has been successful for them.
Just like evolution these modes of thought and action are under pressure of survival of the fittest.
The shadow never really has to be illuminated as long as it remains useful, my personal term for it all is functional truth.
Selection is valid way of looking at things as well @shai-hulud. It can be understood this way, afterall, nature gave us techniques for a reason — denial, for instance, can save your sanity (but it can also keep us dumb.) I agree we don't have to illuminate it all or analyze it to be functional or thrive. But I also think that the subconscious is a lot like inside of a car. If you tinker with it and don't know how it works, then you can do damage. And if you do take the time to know what's going on under the hood, you can sometimes upgrade it, fix it, etc. So it could in a way be evolutionarily advantageous for some to be are of the intimate details of their truth.
I don't think anyone is entirely positive or negative. There is a thin line in between and keeping the balance can be challenging. From a young age we are taught how to dress, wash, act and think. Some learn to question things, others don't or simply do not care.
We are constantly adjusting our focal length in order to improve ourselves, to have a better understanding of what we do and how our actions can impact others.
oh, I guess I should have started this comment by wishing you "Happy birthday!". From one Gemini to another, I love seeing that others have these questions as well.
Yes yes-- and some are taught NOT to question things in some cultures. In some cultures, it's considered very offensive to ask questions, especially asking a question of an adult's actions or an authorities decisions. That seems so scary to me, I'm really glad my family wasn't that strict but I can imagine how such strictness of information and discipline against inquiry could cause many people to grow up without knowing how to think for themselves and never thinking to; but just continue their routines the rest of their lives. sigh
Thank you for the birthday wishes @lymepoet. And thanks for contributing your thoughts to this post.