CANCER-LIBRA RELATIONSHIP; The experience
In a relationship, the calm and stormy times, low and high tides in it can be relatable to that of a sea. We can’t always expect those calm moments, we must also expect the worse and prepare for it as well.
Its 2 days now, and I haven’t had a decent conversation with my boyfriend. Communication is very important in a relationship, right? Apparently, a lot of people know this but my boyfriend is one of the few who doesn’t. The relationship is barely 2months old and it’s already having a sour taste on the tongue of my emotions.
I was warned and encouraged about the Cancer-Libra relationship, it isn’t an easy match, but some said it could work. I am Libra and he is Cancer. My mom is cancer too, so basically, she warns me every now and then about how sensitive a Cancerian can be, ‘’he is easily hurt and really emotional’’ all of these I have heard over a thousand times.
It sucks, because all I ever really do is care about him, being careful not to say stuff because I don’t want him sad or hurt. I love him very much, but at this point, I realize I am protecting him and hurting myself, and I don’t know how healthy that is in itself.
I am emotionally bleeding. All I have been trying to do for the past 2 days is to be strong. Strong enough not to let go, to stay, to sort it all out, but I am a girl for crying out loud, and girls need attention from the one they love and claims love them too. I need to be assured every moment of the love of my beloved.
I tried complaining to him yesterday over our very short chat on messenger but all he said was ‘’you know I am sick, right?’’ I felt sad all of a sudden, it felt like holding a knife to someone but the person turns the knife around at you and pierces you with the guilt, so now I felt like the uncaring one. Then I made a ‘’mistake’’ and explained how I don’t feel like I am a priority to him and at that moment he typed ‘’you say what? Babe I’m down, I need to rest’’ after a while, he left me, he went offline and I couldn’t think anything bad of him, after all he had a good excuse - he was sick. Then, I began to wonder ‘’is he only sensitive to his own feelings and emotions? Isn’t he supposed to be sensitive to mine as well?’’ Its selfishness if other people’s feelings don’t matter as much as yours.
But my mind is sick, my emotions are screaming, and I have lost my sleep just thinking about him and how everything can turn from lovey-dovey to a skin-crawling, absolutely frightening episode, like I am lost in a dark place without a torch, I am totally confused but the little I know, my mom and nature itself has taught me, nature has taught me that it’s always the males that chase the females and my mom has taught me ‘’if he wants you, he’ll chase after you. Never chase a man, you’ll lose your value, if you do’’
The day wasn’t exactly awesome, it started out cold and I was bored as hell, so in the evening, I had a friendly chat with his friend and neighbour on a social platform, during the conversation, I tried as hard as I could not to ask him about my boyfriend, but, I hadn’t really heard from him (my boyfriend) since the day started and I desperately wanted to know what’s up with him, since he told me last time that he was ill. I finally asked his friend ‘’have you seen my boyfriend today?’’ once I asked the question, I felt so regretful about it because his friend would definitely smell a rat and ask me what’s up, and what’s up was something I didn’t know how to answer because really, I felt stuff was just crumbling down.
Oh! And his friend actually replied in the affirmative ‘’yes, I saw him today, he came to my house and I went to his house too’’ as I read his reply, I didn’t know what to think, usually, I’d like to cook up excuses for people in my head when they disappoint me ( like ‘’maybe he hasn’t come to see me as planned because he is busy, maybe his mom is around, he’ll definitely come around once he is done’’ ) but at this moment I couldn’t cook up anything. I asked his friend the next question ‘’he came to call you for what?’’ and I swear I don’t think I was prepared for his… he replied ‘’to play PES 3’’, really?! A football game above me? It definitely meant so much to him than the girlfriend he claimed to love and I suddenly felt disgusted at my boyfriend, I felt sick because, he is the kind of guy who will see me and be like ‘’I missed you, I love you’’ blah blah. I don’t want words anymore, I want proofs, and I need the actions. Why couldn’t he call me? Why? Even a text message would go a long way, but, no way! I didn’t deserve that either.
In relationships, there will definitely be misunderstanding leading to arguments, but if we strive to understand ourselves in these times, everything will go smoothly on the right track. The key to understanding in a relationship is communication, this is the only way we can understand each other because we’ll be able to see with each other’s eyes, use each other’s perception to truly understand from each other’s view point indeed. Communication is one of a relationship’s biggest tool in fighting misunderstanding. No relationship can work without understanding and understanding cannot come without adequate and frequent dialogue.
