The Best Mum - though she is not with me .. The 2nd Best Mum - Mother Nature
Good Morning Steemster Followers and hope your week has started positively.
Mother Nature has been working her magic again creating Sunshine, Smiles and Summer Spirit ..
The Best Mums are always OUR Mums - sadly mine is no longer here and this week marks 16 years since she passed away at a young age. She was a bright, kindhearted and generous lady and always ready to help anyone. She had a fun mischievous side also which was a delight to be around. These of course mention only a few of her special qualities - if I have inherited half of my mum qualities Im a lucky girl.
Mother Nature never fails to brighten our days.
At First to be honest I was so tired and exhausted with a level of something I don't think I can even describe. Cancer that nasty poison that took my Mum and then tried its hardest weave its ugly head to suck the life of family and friends, to weave its trail of guilt behind it ...
The Anger - I was angy - why did it have to be my mum.. Why when I saw lots she of grumpy much older people still going about their lives disgruntled did my "They ? " choose to take my mum...
All I could see around me everywhere from bus rides to shop queues was only people who were moaning and unkind and grumpy and old - and all I could think was why had God ? left them behind and taken my Mum. I felt cheated and now 16 years on I realise this is quite an expected reaction, but back then I couldn't help feeling so angry with these awful thoughts in my head.
Trees that come back to life thanks to Mother Nature
The Awful Anger once subsided led me to wondering - Had I done enough, had I been good to her, Had I been mean when I didn't pick up a phone call from her sometimes and lied I hadn't heard it - so many things went through my head - was I a bad person - what I'd give now for a call from her, to hear her voice and pick up a ringing phone.
16 years on I know now that all these little things like pretending I hadn't heard the phone are all normal things and part of life and more than likely my Mum probably knew the truth anyway - but that this was the dance of life and family life and more importantly real life.
I know now after years that my time with my mum was a balance of both positive & times of struggle and they are all part of the journey and my Mum also would not have wished it any other way. She had mostly a happy full life , a life of both hard work with travel and sharing and laughing - I will never forget her laughing.
Today I feel sad of course that she is not here to share my garden which she loved but I'm sure she is basking somewhere beautiful.
I felt the need to write this- for me. Maybe it's because today I'm lonely
Sonic Sonny 💁🏻