Better Days
Can I just take a second to express some thoughts? Like man life is wild. And the universe takes you for a ride that you never imagined. 2017 was such a shit show.... it was a year of endings. Everything fell apart that year. like honestly. Thinking back to how much I grew and changed after though is unreal. I'm still changing and I wake up every day a different me. I went from living in circles thinking that my life was set up. I was in a long term relationship, thinking that's what I wanted. To be like everyone else. And I was ok with that but something was missing. Something in my soul told me no. But I held on searching for better days. And the universe is like that. It will let you suffer until there is no option but to let go. So on my birthday of all days, I let it go. That was my gift to myself. And things were crazy after that. I was so confused. Teaching myself how to live again. It was liberating. And scary. Then I just quit trying. I lived my life. Did whatever the fuck I wanted. I had a house, and a support system. I was content again. Then it all just went to shit. Something told me like, in my soul that this was the best thing. So I let it ride. When I couldn't do it anymore, I woke up on a Saturday and my very first thought.... it wasn't a thought really, maybe a dream I was having woke me up and told me I needed to move. So i did. I packed whatever fit in my car. Left my house, my job, everything behind. And it was sad. But something told me to just do it. I was in debt. Hell im still in debt. But I know I can make it out. I know I can do this. And i am not afraid. I started my drive to Texas. And I got a flat tire in Colorado and bent my rim. That set me back a few days. I contemplated just staying there. But something told me no. And a friend of mine that was going to Denver that weekend heard about my delay there and came to hang out! So I had a mini vacation and it was awesome!! But I had to go. I had just enough money to get me in gas and food to Texas. I got here on New Year's Day. I was just barely on the Texas border at 12 am and had to stop and think, like damn. How symbolic. Like this is what I'm supposed to do. And in the start of 2018 i was nowhere near home. I'll admit the first month here I was confused. But not afraid. I would lay awake at nigh asking like what now?! I had a hard time finding a job at first and my final bills from vernal are still waiting for me. But it's gonna have to be ok. I've met cool people. Done cool things, and I'm having the time of my life and I got a job, everything is putting together so quick now. 2017 was the year of destruction and 2018 for me. It's hard to say. But I've witnessed nothing but growth and for that I am very thankful. The universe is strange, and takes you where you've never thought you'd be. But as long as you have intention, trust it.
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