To the Old Rich Man I Met on the Bus
I turned and asked the old man next to me how he was associated with the college. He said that he wasn't. He had made a lot of money and wanted to write a very big check to a college as a donation. But, the college he graduated from had turned against the things he believed in, so now he was on this campus tour bus at Hillsdale College to see if maybe he would write the check to them.
He asked me if I was a graduate. I told him no, my degrees are from somewhere else, I just like Hillsdale and have joined some of their programs in Michigan and Washington D.C. He asked me what I did, and I told him that I currently hold a local political office, but in about a year I would be leaving that office, so I had been working on getting a business up and going, and hopefully producing revenue soon. He was interested in that.
The bus started pulling out of the parking lot. As we were driving around, the driver was pointing out different parts of the campus. Old buildings that had seen students passing through its halls for many generations. He talked about the students that had taken time off to fight in the American Civil War. The newer grade school education building. The communications building that was donated by a famous television host that was still being built. In between hearing about and looking around at the campus, the old man and I would talk.
He asked me what the business was. I told him that I hired a part-time employee in Argentina that was interested in meditation, but didn't know about it. I taught her and we did experiments between the two of us, and with some family and friends, for almost two years on what works best. When people start meditating everyone feels crazy, and when they start making progress it can be mentally and emotionally overwhelming. So we developed a better method to coach people through that.
He asked me if I had any customers. I told him no and he laughed. He said I was doing business backwards. He told me that what I should do is go find people with a problem, and then make a thing to help with their problem, and then sell them what they want. Instead I had found a solution, but I wasn't sure who to sell it to.
He asked what it actually helps with. I told him it helps with feelings. When we're overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, sad, angry, and frustrated we're told to either distract ourselves so we don't notice, or to drug ourselves so we don't feel, or to talk it through with a friend or a professional, but none of those actually help the underlying fundamental issue. If you distract yourself, you still have the problem. If you drug yourself, then if you want to feel good you always need the drug. If you talk it through with someone, your feelings are deeper than words, and the surface of the water is not the same as the depths. Another passenger behind us shooshed us because they were trying to listen to the driver.
The old man became thoughtful and looked out of the bus window for awhile. I did the same. As we were pulling into the parking lot again he said, "You know what. It might not be a bad idea." He told me how he had a daughter that had been in and out of rehabs a number of times. He said he had spent a lot of money on it, and he had been to the various anonymous group sessions with her. Maybe I could help those people. I said that I could. I hadn't really thought about focusing on that, I was thinking more about stressed business managers. But it works for everyone that is human and can feel their fingertip: students, moms, athletes, factory workers, kids, etc.
He said it was nice to meet me and wished me well, I said it was nice talking with him. We walked off the bus, and I never saw him again.
That rich old man was right. Over the next year I recorded, posted, and promoted dozens of videos showing people how to meditate. I got thousands of subscribers and tens of thousands of views. Offered a scholarship program. Maggie had a family member loss and really became convinced of the effectiveness of the practice because of how much it helped her recover. My father died and I was able to process that well emotionally within a short period of time, which was a huge test especially with everything else going on in my life. But, no customers.
So the old man was right, from a purely business perspective it would have made more sense just to find what people want and sell it to them to make money. Now I have several thousand dollars and a few years invested into this business without monetary gain. Maybe it would make sense to cut my losses and look at a different business opportunity. But, I can't turn away from it because it's so effective. It's the simplest most effective way to sort out inner chaos. Because I use it and it works I'm continually reconvinced of it, and that's there's a lot of people that need it, and the world needs it.
I'm thinking about rebranding. Somatic experiencing, polyvagal theory, mindfulness, mind-body connection, these are all quite similar to feeling what you feel, like I teach, what I do is just simpler and older. Humans just keep reinventing the same wheel and calling it something different.
The word meditation seems to be an issue. It can mean many different things. A lot of people associate it with the Hindu and Buddhist religions. That's not wrong, it's just not what I do. You can be a Buddhist and meditate, but there's no need for it. Just like you can be a Buddhist and go hiking, but there's no need to become a Buddhist if you want to go on a hike, there's no need to become a Buddhist if you want to meditate. There are religious hikes and secular hikes, there is religious meditation and secular meditation. Some forms of meditation repeat relgious words in the mind. I don't teach that. Been there, tried it, it's unnecessary and less effective.
A lot of people know that I went down this path to manage my chronic physical pain, then I stumbled into the depths of what it does for emotional pain. Things I thought I had dealt with came up, and I felt them, and I actually dealt with them. This has been known, taught, and done for thousands of years. Feeling comes before words, words just allow us to learn how to purposefully do it rather than hoping that we accidently find something that works.
I'm in a business program trying to figure out how to communicate all of this better. Maggie and I have been meeting and talking through questions and exercises. Since people get hung up on the word meditation I've been thinking about calling it mind-body connection. I've been saying sensation awareness to people when I talk about it sometimes.
The major benefit is mental and emotional. We were talking through the actual benefits people get from learning how to purposefully feel what they feel and Maggie came up with this good phrase, unlock emotion. I like that. I think I could rebrand under that. As of now I'm still calling the program Reset Meditaton. Let me know what you think of the different potential options. If you were interested in sorting out your own inner emotional life, and joining a group or getting a coach to do that, what would you prefer for it to be called?
Find more at JeffThinks.com or JeffreyAlexanderMartin.com and ResetMeditation.com