"Lucky" as a drowned

I, usually, do not can avoid any law of meanness. At a business dinner, I certainly will spilled wine on myself or someone who is nearby, or I'll drop sushi into a vase with soy sauce, and I'll drop it so that this sauce will be scattered in different directions on the clothes of everyone around. If I smoke with someone, I will certainly make bad move and burn someone's shirt, or drop a spark on my dress. A passing car will dash me with dirty water, but without hurting those who stand in the meter on the right and left, and this will certainly happen on the day when I will be dressed in white clothing. I always being stuck in an elevator when I'm in a hurry. When I walk down the street and start walking a little faster because I'm in a hurry - I will broke my heel off one of my shoes.

If I wake up in the morning alone at home - I look beautiful, but if I wake up next to someone survived all quests like sparks of cigarettes, spilled wine and soy sauce, I will look like a disheveled Konotop witch, with bruises under eyes and dirty face with mascara.
My stockings will burst when I wear the shortest skirt. If I want to be alone - someone will come to visit, and if I'm will be bored and I will want to have fun all night in a good company, then as luck would have it all my friends are busy with important things throughout this day.
Shortly before I need Citramon, it ends in a pharmacy, although I can not exist without this medication, shoe shop closes for lunch always in front of my nose, at what time I would not have come there. Also, in front of my nose money is always running out at any ATM.
Well, in general, I'm a very "lucky" girl!
Recently, I'm again has "lucky". I go on a date with guy, my head starts to spin because of the heat, then I faint in front of a crowd of people, during the fall, smashed myself nose and pour blood on my white clothes. Apparently, when someone from above was giving out lucky, at that time I stood in line for madness.

P.S. I can also say that as soon as I pay to bot for voting - immediately after me someone will come and make a big bet, in fact, stealing my money.
You can not imagine how fed up I am with all this!