How to help partner in Cannabis habbit

Living together with a partner who over-inflates can be emotionally stressful. It is possible that you have received signals for some time that your partner has a problem with cannabis, but it is also possible that you did not notice, or that you thought you were exaggerating ...

Some indications that you can consider:

What can you do ?

• If your partner or friend regularly 'blows' too often, it is definitely recommended to talk about this . Do that preferably at a time that he / she is not 'stoned'. Why does he / she use so much? - What is the function of that use? Are there positive reasons or is it rather to forget tensions?

• Do not condemn or blame. Perhaps there is an opportunity to make clear that 'smoking' does not contribute to a solution, but that it often makes the problems worse.

• Discuss the benefits of 'blowing'. This can take away the tensions and create space to also talk about the disadvantages.

• You have the right to make clear to your partner which disadvantages you encounter from excessive use. Tell him or her what you think about it if agreements are not fulfilled, the atmosphere in the house is tense, no meaningful conversation can be held, too much money is spent, etc ... You do not even have to mention the use in this case.

• You can also indicate that you are worried , and that you want to help as much as possible (but not to obscure the problems).

• Keep taking good care of yourself . Keep doing the things that you liked before, avoid your circle of friends, do not stop with your hobbies and keep paying attention to the children.

• Talk about it with someone you trust. You need to be able to view things from a distance. You can also call on professional help.

What do you better not do?

• Do not assume that you can solve your partner's problem. No matter how well you do your best, you can not "save" him or her. There is only one person who can and that is your partner.
• Do not try to solve problems that are the result of the excessive use of your partner. If you do that systematically, you make it easy for him or her to keep on going. If you eliminate most of the disadvantages, it is difficult to motivate yourself to change.
• Although that will not always happen at emotional times: avoid making constant accusations about cannabis use itself. It is better to try to put the consequences of that use on the table. In other words, the disadvantages that you experience directly because of the 'blowing' of your partner.
• Constantly asking yourself if it is perhaps your fault that your partner uses so much. 'Blowing' he or she does, that is not your responsibility.

What if there are children?

If there are children, they will sooner or later sense that something is wrong . They can also be directly confronted with the less attractive aspects of 'blowing' your partner. In that case, try to explain what is going on. You can do that best at a time when you are calm yourself. Try to talk at 'their level', so adapt to their age, but do not involve them in the relationship problems that you experience with your partner. You should do the latter better with your partner or with another adult you trust.

• Make it clear to the children that they are not responsible and that they can not change the problems of your partner.
• All children can react differently. Some have the illusion that they can solve their parents' problems by doing their very best. Some are angry, start to turn away and become rebellious. Still others will 'do if they do not see it' or will try to divert attention.

If it becomes too much

When the tensions rise high between you and your partner or if the problems last a long time, that can be undermining for yourself. You then begin to doubt everything, you have the feeling of turning in circles. These feelings are usually a sign that you are going over your border .

• You can think about breaking the relationship, separating. If you decide that, then you are right. But only you can make that decision.
  Find a trusted person or people . In your own environment and / or a professional counselor.
  Where can you find help?
  At first you can talk to your doctor about it, which can possibly refer to more specialized help.
• In your region you can usually go somewhere in a Center for Mental Health. Some of these centers specialize in substance abuse. In these centers, attention is also paid to partners and family members of people with drug problems. Some CGGs also organize group meetings for partners.