Dealing with Fear of Failure

Today is day 6 of my 30 day challenge and I'm going to write about something I've been dreading writing about every since I put it in my Potpourri of Potential Posts list. Something I've had issues with in the past; It's my tendency to dream big, get overwhelmed by the vastness of finishing the big projects, then making excuses why it can't happen, and finally quitting on the idea all together. This is kind of a continuation of yesterday's post, in that I'll be discussing some of the same topics (Thoughts Before Action, Brain Autopilot, and Flow), but from a real practical and self application point of view, as it relates to trying to bring SFEOS into existence.

Overwhelming Fear of Failure

I am just scratching the surface of understanding somewhat how the psychology of it works in my own life. My ideas always grow in size and scope. They require a huge amount of "out of my comfort zone" learning; That is, my skill levels are currently lacking what is necessary to complete them. My brain is not anywhere close to being in its autopilot mode yet. I feel stressed and fearful of failure. I start to question my abilities; Do I have what it takes to pull it off? It becomes so overwhelming that I freeze up. My fight or flight mechanism kicks in, and I want to flee because the answer is obviously "no way do I have what it takes to do ALL THIS". When we are in these states of unbelief, we have no choice but to fulfill our own beliefs. We self sabotage and destroy any chance of success before we even get going.

Overcoming The Fear of Failure with "i+1"

A friend of mine who is a really smart, self-published author of young adult fiction, did a Ted Talk a couple years back. In it she tells the audience how her language learning (she is fluent in a few) taught her a principal that she started applying to other areas in her life. The concept is simple, and is denoted by the formula "i+1". The letter "i" represents where you're currently at, what you currently know. "+1" means you add just one more thing to it. You can't focus on the entirety of what you don't know. If you do, it becomes something too vast. You become discouraged because your brain subconsciously knows you'll never accomplish it. I+1 is really just another way to describe the proverbial question, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

So in the case of building SFEOS, I can't dwell on the huge learning curve ahead of me and all that has to happen to bring it into existence; instead I have to find ways to break it up into pieces small enough that I can handle. I have to take what I know and just focus on adding one more thing to it. Hopefully in the process, I can actually turn something daunting into many opportunities to enter states of optimal experience (i.e. Flow).

The SFEOS Game - Game Plan ;)

So if we have any hope of following the timeline of the published Mission Plan for SFEOS I have to break things down. I've already done that a bit in the plan.

Phase 1 - The Orbital Space Station: Benevolence I

Phase One of the plan is a centralized tool that will allow us to record tasks, estimate those tasks, and push them through a workflow. Essentially a very basic custom project management system. Converting it to a decentralized tool comes in Phase 2. I had to put an actual due date on it, because "a goal without a due date is just a dream". I would love to have this done by the end of March but I'm feeling like a more realistic time frame is the end of May. Initially I'd wanted to have Phase 2 done by the time EOS would be live. I can already tell this is probably unrealistic. I currently work full-time and have other obligations that will be pulling me away from development on it. So instead of stressing about that aspect, I'm going to shoot for the end of May.

Phase 2 - The Construction of the Generational Starship, Meritocracy

Getting the custom project management tool runnable as a decentralized tool running on the EOS test net and into production is the next step. This is the section I'm probably most fearful of. It makes sense because it contains the most unknowns. What tools will be available? How easy will it be to develop on? Can I get up to speed with Web Assembly and C++ in a relatively short amount of time? Going to be doing a lot of I+1 between now and then.

I've been doing programming as my full-time job since 2001. I've been playing around with programming, since I was about 10 on our family's first computer, the TRS-80. For my day job I build centralized web apps. I'm comfortable in this space. Working with C++ and smart contracts is a different beast altogether. My hope is that soon after June, EOS and/or BlockOne will be developing a lot of tools for us Dapp builders.

0:56 ~ "... The idea of EOS is that, if you're able to build a basic website, you should be able to build and launch a decentralized business."

Phase 3 - Crew and Colony Boarding: The Voyage Begins

This is when things start to get really exciting. People who are not developers and content creators can start joining the project. There is a lot that has to happen before Phases 3, 4, and 5 so I'm not even going to get into the details of those yet.

In Summary

When I start to feel the pressures of being overwhelmed, I have to take stock of things; Trying to understand my own psychology and then break things up into bite-sized bits. Figure out what that next one thing is, without dwelling on the hugeness of the overall project. Slow and steady wins the race.

Potpourri of Potential Posts for #challenge30days

• The Phoenix Protocol - I might do some more brainstorming on this.
• Tribute to my Uncle Raymond (98 years old and we just went to his funeral Jan 2nd)
• The addictive dice game my wife and I play at the kitchen table now that our kids are growing up and doing their own things.
• SFEOS - Developing a Crowd Founding Platform and Network of Gamers from the Ground Up.
• EOS Development (Learning on the Test Network - both local and public test net)
• Codemash 2018 (A yearly developer conference I attend in Sandusky Ohio) - Probably multiple posts on this. My family has been attending with me the last few years. They have fun doing the water park while I geek out with my peeps.
• My life as a traveling gospel teacher.
• My Personal Fight for Economic Freedom for Everyone through Crypto
• My struggles to stick with things over the years on a consistent basis… This one is going to hurt a bit and not sure how much I'll share.
• Adventures in Sailing (well learning to sail)
• Adventures in Weight Loss (More details on how the winter season is affecting my weight loss)
• Anything else I can think up...