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RE: On the 12th Day of Christmas...
Incredible @patriamreminisci. 😧 I have no words really to express my sorrow on hearing this, as I have never been even remotely close in a situation like the one you describe. 😞 (Except for a tense few minutes at a drug stop in the middle of nowhere in Mexico in 1976 ...)
Have you heard from your Russian girlfriend? Any hopes there? Do you still have some dreams of opening your own business in the Philippines?
Hopes? Yes, and she (as always) is optimistic and calm even as I plan for the worst. It's why I need her, truth be known: for her ability to always find light, while my life has trained me to always prepare for a day when there is none.
But hope and assurance are not the same thing.
Right now I don't have the luxury of dreams. I can't see beyond the here and now.
Okay, understood @patriamreminisci that all seems pretty dark at the moment. Hopefully, we will hear from you in the near future that you are beginning to see some light returning on some brighter prospects for your future.
Hang in there!