Man, this is a great post. I think you are really onto something. You're seeing and discerning through the religious spirit. The religious spirit tries to trick us into thinking it is the Holy Spirit but it seems you are calling it out. That's awesome!

I've personally been there on some issues before, even with the tithing. There's no real easy answer for it but some seem to think they have concrete answers for it. I would easily side with you on the question you brought up to your friend regarding tithing. God is looking at the heart.

I had not gone to a church on Sunday mornings for about two years until a few months ago. I had just gone to a home group that met weekly. I considered that my church and my community. I felt convicted about not giving anything but we never took up an offering there since it was all done from this couple's house and they never asked anything. So I just started bringing certain things for them each time I came. A snack for the family, drinks, firewood for their fireplace. I considered that my seed to sow into them since they were opening their house to do ministry regularly. I know that may seem controversial to some but I believe the point is that I was sowing into the ministry I was presently engaged in.

I encourage you to keep looking to Christ and you'll keep getting answers on how to wade through the dirt and grime that the religious spirit brings.
It can be very easy to get discouraged when looking at all the junk that goes on, especially in the church. But the Lord's presence only inhabits people, even when they're a total mess. There's gold in everyone even if it has to be dug out but it's totally worth it.
Great post!