Unfortunately, I think when you go, you go. There are some unexplained things that happen that sure seem suspicious at times. I'd like to think these are spiritual guidance, especially from lost loved ones, albeit so unrealistic. Some of them are just dreams which can easily be explained as your mind inventing something, just as it does for any other dream.

When it gets odd and you find things where you know you've looked before, that is weird.

I know I went into my grandparent's house about 14 years ago after they both had died. My grandfather died 20 years prior to that time, so we were essentially cleaning out my grandmother's house which had remain unchanged since my grandfather died. I went there looking for one thing in particular, which was a magic trick that grandfather did when I was 12 years old. This was also the age when he died for me. When I set out to find it, I was drawn to a bedroom drawer that I wouldn't even think of looking through and I know positively that anytime he did that trick, it was done in the kitchen downstairs. I never saw him go upstairs to get it. He just seemed to have it in his pocket sometimes, so it is not like I subconsciously remember or spying on where he kept it. I never knew he kept it there, or if he kept it there. It wasn't even his bedroom. It was my mother's old bedroom when she lived there 30+ years ago at the time.

I opened the drawer and there it was, sitting right there in plain sight for me to see, front and center. It was the oddest thing I ever expected. And no, this was not my mother setting me up to have me find this. I didn't tell anyone that was one of the things I had hoped to find. I went with some family members on a mission to simply clean out, salvage and get the house somewhat ready for eventual sale.

How was I guided to that? This was not a small house. There were 4 bedrooms, a full middle level of the usual rooms and a basement full on junk that was semi-organized. That little pocket sized magic trick was like finding a needle in a haystack in 10 seconds. For this reason, I have to wonder. There have been other things too. For the most part, disappointingly though, I think that when you die, that is it. For that reason, I try to live my life as best I can. I am not banking on being reunited with people and watching over my children and having them rejoin me someday. It is sad to even write about. I still have that 1% doubt though. Maybe that is a defense mechanism in the brain chemically to protect ourselves from going insane imagining our own demise.