RE: To understand what church is, you must first understand what it is not .
"Church is not the building"
This, soo much this! I grew up with a family that werent the "church type". We didnt go to church every Sunday. We didnt go every holiday. But we spoke to God on our own time. Every day, every night. We showed him through our actions that we were worthy of his love. The "church type" that lived around us were the type that would dress in their Sunday best and look down their noses at the homeless man that would go. My family would stop and pray with this homeless man, buying him dinner and a warm blanket after, this is what we learned from God. This is how he taught us to be.
You dont have to be the "church type" to believe in God and do right by him. You only have to be a good human and thats what I strive to be daily! My family taught me that, not church!
A personal relationship with God is essential. I also believe that gathering with other believers is important. These groups could include close family and friends or large groups of people.
I understand what you mean by "church type." Self-righteousness is wrong, but unfortunately prevalent in our world, both in the "church" and out.