读一读《少有人走的路》

in #cn7 years ago

阅读一些当代社科人文原版书有助于我们增长见识,以及在生活中做出积极改变。今天推荐一本值得一读再读的原版书:The Road Less Traveled(少有人走的路)。

The Road Less Traveled出自美国著名心理学医生M·斯科特·派克之手,这本书自1978年出版后就成为畅销书榜单常客,在过去的四十年时间里全球累计销量超过一千万册,改变了无数人的生活。《少有人走的路》并不是机场书店常见的那种食之无味弃之可惜的心灵鸡汤读物,而是作者结合近二十年心理咨询经验而写成的一部心智成长指南。作者对人性的理解之深让人折服,在读这本书的过程中你会有无数豁然开朗的瞬间,当然也会有无数膝盖中枪的体验。

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在国外知名书评网站Goodreads上,有网友对这本书给出了这样的评价:

It gets four stars for the simple truth of the opening lines. (书开头前几句阐述的道理就值四颗星了)

他指的是下面这个开头:

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Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

这几句话读完瞬间让人清醒。很多人抱怨命运不公,因为他们认为生活本该一帆风顺。但实际上,人生不如意事十之八九,不顺利才是人生常态。一旦我们学会接受这一事实,以平和的眼光去看待问题,之前看似不可克服的困难反而显得没那么可怕了。

作者在书中主要讲了以下几个方面的话题:如何延迟满足感以及承担责任,如何尊重事实以及保持平衡,爱以及心智成长。这些都是我们日常生活中必须面对但很少去认真思考的问题。作者对此给出了深刻的阐述,举几个例子:

关于直面问题:

Fearing the pain involved, almost all of us, to a greater or lesser degree, attempt to avoid problems…We attempt to skirt around problems rather than meet them head on. We attempt to get out of them rather than suffer through them. This tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness.

人的天性是厌恶面对困难,于是我们想出了各种各样的方法来规避它们。有的人不断拖延时间,等待问题自行消失;有的人对问题视而不见,或尽量忘记它们的存在;有的人与麻醉药和毒品为伴,想把问题排除在意识之外,换得片刻解脱。而这种规避问题和逃避痛苦的趋向,是人类心理疾病的首要根源。

Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.

如果我们不去面对和解决问题,它们会永远存在,永远成为我们心智成长的障碍。直面问题并解决问题才会获得心智成长。

关于责任:

Whenever we seek to avoid the responsibility for our own behavior, we do so by attempting to give that responsibility to some other individual or organization or entity. But this means we then give away our power to that entity.

当我们试图将责任推给别人时,我们也在将自由和权力拱手交给他人。为远离责任带来的痛苦,无数人甘愿放弃权力,逃避自由。

关于爱:

I define love thus: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth.

爱最重要的体现形式就是关注。我们爱某个人,一定会关注对方,进而帮助对方进步。真正的爱能够让双方都获得心智成长。

The second most common misconception about love is the idea that dependency is love…Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other.

依赖并不是爱情。真正的爱情是两个人本来有能力独自生活,但选择了和对方在一起。爱情是锦上添花,而不是雪中送炭。

The Road Less Traveled 是一本能让你反复阅读反复思考的书,它能够回答很多让你感到困惑的人生问题,并带给你新的看待事物的角度。同时,从语言难度上来看,这本书也很容易阅读和理解,有四六级水平完全可以读懂。推荐感兴趣的同学去读一读这本书。

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