爱你在心口难开，那个爱字怎地出口？ Is it really culture difference when talking about love?

快一年了，终于要到老家了，而且还第一次带着老公回去。越快到家门，心里越急迫地想见到母亲和哥哥们。当母亲就在面前，丈夫热情地走过去拥抱母亲和我哥一家，我只是抑着心里的感情站在一边傻傻地笑。回到酒店后丈夫很不解地问我“你为什么没抱抱并亲亲你妈？我知道你平时非常想她，可是为什么她站在你面前，你却一点都没有表示？”他说他不懂。而且说如果换做是他妈妈他要是这样，他妈妈会把他给阉了。 我不知道是否可以上升为国家间的文化差别？ 还是只是我个人的问题？中国的传统是含蓄，表达感情和爱意更多在行动而不是言语。 而西方文化从小就被教育要大胆说出你的爱。

Finally, I was able to get back home to China after almost a year, it was the first time my husband went to China to meet with my family. I was so eager to meet my mom and brothers in person. But when my mom showed up, I was standing still by the side, while my husband went up to my mom and my brother and give them a big hug. When we went back to the hotel, my husband was confused, and he asked me “why didn’t you hug and kiss your mom? I know you missed her a lot, but why didn’t you show it when you met her”. He said he didn’t get it. He also mentioned that if it were his mom, she would bite his head off for not hugging her. I am not sure if this is culture difference between US and China, or this is my own personal issue? In China, the culture was not to show you're affectionate and love out loud. An action is more than a thousand words. But in the Western world, people are taught to express their love and affectionate freely and openly.

我哥哥去年第一次到美国来玩，在机场门口接到他的时候，我给了他一个满满的拥抱，他当时有点尴尬，脸上一片绯红。这是我记忆中唯一一次抱他。他离开的时候我没有再表示，事后有点后悔，觉得应该至少再抱抱他。我在这里每次见到老公的父母，妹妹一家和他的其他亲戚，都会很自然地拥抱和亲吻，可是不知道为什么，一到自己家里就别扭了。平时朋友之间见面，如果是老外的话，也都很遵守这个习惯，但如果是中国人那更多的是礼节性的握手。除非是非常亲密的朋友。

When my brother came to the US for the first time last year, at the arrival terminal gate, I greeted him with a big hug. He felt a little bit embarrassed and shy. That was the first time that I ever hugged him if I can remember. When he left the US, I didn’t hug him again. I had a bit of regret for not having done it. Whenever I meet with my husband’s parents, sister’s or his other relatives, I always hug and kiss them naturally. But not sure why, when it came to my family, it was kind of weird. I have few Chinese friends here too, every time we meet, we usually shake hands instead of exchanging hugs and kisses than what I would usually do for my American friends.

不知道为什么下意识里会有这种行动上的差别。我们平时不吝于对自己的孩子示爱，不吝于对自己的爱人示爱，可是有多少人对自己的兄弟姐妹和父母示爱？多少人抱过自己的父母，兄弟姐妹并大声告诉他们你爱他？在这里我得检讨我自己，明明受到两种文化的熏陶，应该取精华才是，为什么还那么拘泥和生分？

Wondering why’s that for the difference in behavior? As Chinese, we are not shy about sharing our love with our children, not shy of showing affectionate to our partners, but when was last time we showed our love to our brothers, sisters, and parents? How many people have hugged their parents and siblings and told them out loud that “I love you”? I'm exposed to both cultures. Theoretically, I should have always had adopted what works better, but why did I behave differently?

不要等下次回国了，今天晚上我妈妈视频就直接告诉她我爱她，让行动来说话！

Can’t wait for next time when I go back to China again, I will tell my mom “I love you” tonight when I video chat her, let the action speak.

PS-

插图是我侄子画的。他刚学画三个月。非常有才能和天赋。

thumbnail painting is from my nephew. He just started learning paining 3 months ago. I am really impressed by his progress and talent.