The Coinbase Conspiracy we've all heard... and it's not leaving.

Let me preface my first story by saying I'm extremely new (4 months) into Cryptocurrency and Coinbase. It's made me a decent amount of money considering the minimal amount that I've put in. Coinbase has been an awesome partner in that and I think it can play a huge part in the crypto world. However, they're going to have some difficulty moving forward! The reason, I believe, is due to all of the outside noise that is slowly creeping into the narrative. Fake news... or is it?!!!

Coinbase is in talks with potential investors on a new round of funding at a valuation over $1 Billion dollars.
Coinbase has had difficulty handling the high volume of investors entering their market.
During times of high volume trades, normally during peaks or valleys, Coinbase will delay purchases and sales.

The Conspiracy:
Big Money.
Big Money doesn't want to jump in the pool when the water is cold. Big Money wants us to get in first and collectively make the water body temperature. We've done that. So Big Money puts his toe in to see when the water is warm enough. Big Money then puts a fat leg in. The water temperature gets warmer. Cool. Then Big Money takes his fat-ass leg out and everyone feels a drop in temperature. Some people get weary and hop out. Big Money puts two legs in before the water gets too cold and the process continues until Big Money is the only one in the warm water. Coinbase, in this instance, isn't the pool. Coinbase is the damn friend that put Big Money up on the hustle. Coinbase is COMPLICIT! When the pool is empty, it'll just be Big Money and (Possibly) Coinbase

Why it's silly:
There wasn't a single person on the planet who knew that Bitcoin AND Ether would be hitting all time highs AT THIS POINT. Bitcoin and Ether themselves weren't truly ready to grow the way they did or Scaling wouldn't be such a big issue. So then why would Coinbase? That's like asking a kid why he's failing a class but his instructor is... well, also a kid. We're all going to have to be patient with this whole process and ride the waves as they come. In the words of the great Aaron Rodgers, "Relax."

While I totally get that they're having growing pains:

Q - Is the problem even fixable?
I'm not the most technical person on earth, but it just seems like other folks in other companies have been able to deal with high volumes over time. And since getting on Coinbase (Again, a whole 4 months ago) this issue has persisted without fail.

Q - When will they be able to fix these issues?
Or better... When will they understand that the issue they're having isn't technical? It's their lack of human support... someone we can talk to. We don't need to have an answer as much as knowing that someone is working on it.

Q - Is Technical Support truly that difficult to purchase?
I don't know. I'm not a boss like that. With that being said, Coinbase has some of the highest transaction fees on THE FACE OF THE EARTH OF ALL TIME! And if not that, they're pretty high. So the could at least give us someone to talk to.

In Conclusion:
This isn't the first conspiracy theory that has come to Coinbase, I'm certain. That being said, the more they stay behind that blue screen, the more conspiracies will formulate. And soon, one theory will attach to another... then another... until it's some gruesome, uncontrollable and uncontainable monster. And that's not good for anyone. So Coinbase, please... Give us someone to talk to. Someone to say that everything'll be alright.