Terrible dark comedy story about how I hate children

I’m a server in a restaurant and I have to listen to people all day and pretend to give a shit with a smile on my face to make money. When I’m on the clock I’m ok with it because it’s my job. I do however get the opportunity for my own lunch break in between shifts and when I do I prefer to eat in relative quiet before going back to work.

One day I was eating lunch with my ex girlfriend and there was a young family sitting next to us. The mother and father looked nice but their child was a miserable little monster. He would not stop screaming!

The parents were looking around sheepishly because they knew how it was irritating everyone around them. They knew but they just kept sitting there.

The father was trying to make the slobbering sociopath happy by feeding him but it just was not working. So he tried to get cute by telling him “oh here comes the airplane!” And he was even making little flying noises “vvvrooom open wide”

In that moment I just could not help myself but imagine how amazing it would be if you could zoom in to the tip of that spoon and see a little terrorist motherfucker screaming jihad as it went into that screaming child’s mouth and blowing the back of his head off.