Expats. Episode 2. Bradley lost in translation

in #comedy7 years ago (edited)

Let’s find out more about Bradley’s persona. Brad from Australia who is fed up with the sun, sea, and working decided to explore his ancestral heritage. His grandfather from the former USSSSSSRRR always wrote in his letters how he dated supermodels who he met in the fields whilst harvesting potatoes back in the day. Even if grandpa was exaggerating sometimes Bradley who was only used to French fries wanted to get his hands on some real potatoes:)

His search for the perfect woman led him to our welcoming Eastern European city L. Luck was not always on his side. He was once beaten by a jealous local who caught Bradley chatting up his girlfriend. Fortunately not too badly but from that time onwards Bradley’s first question was “Do you have a boyfriend?”.

What Bradley found out from his dating experience was that the girls he fancied most, who were in their late twenties and early thirties, appeared to be a rare breed. Most of the prettiest ones were already married following the will of their conservative relatives, who said if they were not married by the age of 25 they would become a spinster. Brad even imagined someone's babushka saying in a rusty voice to her granddaughter "If you not marry soon, you will end up old and miserable as a crop of new young flowers will start to bloom".

Peter, a local friend, phoned to say he was organizing a night out with the lads. Bradly excited turned up at the stated venue early to a sober crowd.

There was a group of well-groomed guys near the bar. The victims of the cosmetic industry were so busy taking selfies that didn’t even notice an attractive girl nearby. But Bradley noticed her, especially she was wearing a very short tight black skirt. He leaned against the bar next to her purposefully avoiding eye-contact. Then he ordered a drink, turned casually in her direction, and asked if she would like something.

She looked at him thoughtfully for a moment and pointed to a liquor.

  • How are you enjoying the evening? Bradley asked

She smiled but said nothing. "I can do the talking", -thought Bradley to himself.

  • My name is Brad. A friend invited me here but he hasn't shown up as yet. What's your name?

  • Juliette, - she replied.

  • Beautiful name. My grandparents are originally from your country and they would have liked me to be called Roman or Romeo, but my parents thought Bradley is more appropriate for Australia, - he said with a smile.

It was difficult to understand from her facial expression if she was interested in the conversation. Maybe it was just excessive makeup. But his joke seemed to have fallen flat. "Do you come here often?"-he continued persistently.

She nodded. Bradley enjoyed talking so much that didn't even notice her lack of response. He was saying something about Aussi rules football when the barman serving him another drink noticed he was struggling and decided to earn his tip and help Brad.

  • Sorry, of course, it's not my business, but she clearly does not understand English.
  • Really?

Bradley didn't speak her language either, but he wasn't one to give up easily. There was a nice slow song playing in the background and he gestured if she'd like to dance.

She nodded again and stood up from her seat... The girl was extremely tall and Bradley’s eye-line met with her deep cleavage. There was an awkward moment as he accidentally placed his hands on her bum where it normally would be a waste.

After a few clumsy moves around the dance floor, Brad noticed his friend arriving. "Good timing”,- he thought, “I now have a translator". He introduced Juliett proudly to Peter who spoke with her in her own language. She suddenly seemed aggressive.

"Sorry Brad, can I talk to you for a second", said Peter.

  • Ok, said Bradley.

They turned away for privacy. Peter laughed as he spoke said:

  • Do you really think a local girl would be called Juliette?
  • What do you mean?
  • Typical local girls' names are Marias, Julias, Svetlanas. You have been dancing with a transvestite. A cute one agreed. So yes if you want I can be your translator. This could be a fun evening. And it is my duty as a friend to help.

Shocked Bradley exclaimed:

  • Oh no. I don't have anything against these guys, it's their choice, but not my thing. Shall we just go to another bar? I feel like a strong drink or two.

  • Sure? But I think Juliette has taken a shine to you.

  • Come on! Let’s get out of here. It was supposed to be a lads night out.

  • It would still have been,- joked Peter looking longingly at Juliette.


Next Episode https://steemit.com/life/@dovetail/xpats-episode-3-networking-party

Dear Steemians, beginning of the Expats series here: Expats. Introduction https://steemit.com/life/@dovetail/expats-introduction

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Great episode, @dovetail. I'm reading now the first one!

i'm glad you are enjoying. there will be more episodes to follow :)

Dear steemians,
next episode will be published next Sunday
please read introduction of "The Expats" comedy series and "Episode 1. Future generations"
in my previous posts

Thank you for reading my 100s post on Steemit. Cheers :)