"THE BREAK UP"

This script is to be played by a male and a female. The two have recently been going through fights so the man, Jonathan, decides to break up with the woman, Cassandra. Cassandra does not agree with this and from this, so a hilarious fight breaks out between the two, mentioning funny past events.

Jonathan (J): Cassandra, I think we should break up. There's been a lot going on between us and I don't think we're right for each other.

Cassandra (C): What do you mean?

J: (Sighing) We just aren't meant for each other anymore.

C: (Confused) We are perfect for each other! What went wrong.

J: (motions around the house) Your shit is all over the place!

C: Uh, no it isn't! If it was, you would've called a plumber.

J: (Aggravated) Not that type of shit.

C: Then what are you talking about?

J: (Picking up items) Shirt, socks, bra, underwear, shit, shit. Shit! Shit! SHIT!

C: (Picking up Jonathan's items) Socks, shirts, shorts, shoes, more socks, and more shit than I've ever had in my life!

J: Are you kidding me? This is my house. I can do what I want with it.

C: I pay rent, I can do what I want with this house!

J: We just are not meant to be together, okay?

C: Fine. Get out.

J: What? It's MY house!

C: Really? (holds up a piece of paper, regarding ownership of the house)

J: Are you kidding me?

C: (Marks out Jonathon's name and writes 'Cassandra')

J: (Snatches paper) What did you do?

C: (Cackling) Get out of MY house!

J: Cassandra, we've been over this before.

C: Oh we have?

J: Yes! We have! Now give me back my house.

C: You mean my house?

J: Don't do this.

C: (holding a chainsaw) Do what?

J: We've been over this too.

C: (sawing table in half) Since when?

J: My table! (table breaks in half)

C: Ha!

J: Get out.

C: No!

J: (grabs chainsaw and points it toward Cassandra)

C: (grabs shovel and hits Johnathon on the head, knocking him out)

To be continued...