Vote Putin!!! COM 7

in #comedyopenmic7 years ago (edited)

ARE YOU TIRED OF HAVING TO PAY FOR UPVOTES ON STEEMIT?

(Yes!!! Pic of people jumping for joy, sorta cheesy. *****DON’T FORGET TO SITE SOURCES AND POST LINKS. @cheeta will mess you up...*******)

INTRODUCING A NEW AND EXCITING PLATFORM.

(SH11TIT PIC Print scr on Steemit. Crop and edit logo out, replace with a cute cartoon poo symbol. Change address to “www.sh11tit.non” that way stupid people won’t think it’s real. Lolz if they did. *** **Type in sh11tit.non before posting this to make sure it’s not a real thing.******

SH11TIT IS A SOCIAL MEDIA BUILT UPON A NEW AND EXCITING CRYPTOCURRENCY.

(SH11T COIN PIC Maybe a bitcoin logo with a little cartoon poo? Maybe try the steem logo but morphed into stink lines over a pile of poo. That could work, but it sounds like a lot of work.)

SH11T IS REWARDED TO WHOEVER POSTS CONTENT ON SH11TIT

(YAY PIC Some cheesy white guy jumping in the air. If possible just a touch of downs. That could come off bad, I’d really have to find the perfect picture so it didn’t look like I was being a douche. Still sounds risky. Maybe just a bunch of ethnic diverse ladies celebrating. Oh crap then I’d look like a sexist. No third worlders, No single ethnicities, No pics of groups with a single sex, Maybe I could use Aliens… No one would understand that. Ohh it’s so hard to not offend people. Just make up a cool 3-d text of YAY with some fireworks going off in the background.)

THE MORE SH11T YOU HAVE, THE MORE SH11TPOWER YOU HAVE TO THROW BACK AT YOUR FRIEND’S, OR ENEMY'S POSTS.

(POO Upvote/Thowing pic. Print scr on steemit, but change background colour to brown. And replace upvote Icon with monkey hand flinging a small cartoon poo. Throw poo instead of upvotes.)

OLD ENEMY'S, BECOME THE QUICK FRIENDS ON SH11TIT.

(ENEMYS GIVE HUGGS PIC maybe some epic 80’s movie with enemies giving each other hugs.
Oh crap would the average steemit user recognize 80’s nemeses. Maybe starwars, I wonder if the new movie has a scene in it I could use ***** Try to watch the new starwars movies***** I could always use some new super hero movie characters. Oh lolz need one of hillary and donald. OHHH Snap, edit a pic of two people hugging and paste @berniesanders’ and @haejin’s old logos onto them. Totally nominate them for Comedy Open Mic.)

ST11TIT.NON BELIEVES IN THE SPIRIT OF EQUALITY OF OUTCOME. POSTS THAT ARE POORLY CRAFTED AND HASTILY PREPARED, ARE GIVEN “BONUS SH11T” TO KEEP UP WITH THOSE OF “PERCEIVED QUALITY.” WE EVEN FILL OUR TRENDING PAGE WITH THE POOREST OF “PERCEIVED QUALITY,” IN HOPES THAT SOME USERS WILL THROW THEM SOME SH11T.

(Make trending page filled with poorly crafted content with massive Sh11t thrown at them, $800+ rewards. Stuff titled “me like doggi,” “My fav poo pics pt 29-100”, “Meme life, for life” and “How Sh11tit savved mine life.” )

HERE AT ST11TIT THERE IS NO NEED TO BUY UPVOTES, BECAUSE WE REWARD EVERYTHING. SO BE AMONG THE FIRST TO INVEST INTO OUR SH11T. BTC, STEEM, AND FIAT ARE ALL WELCOME HERE. SO PLEASE INVEST QUICKLY, AND REALLY GET YOUR SH11TPOWER TO MAXIMUM.

(Pic of Uncle Scrooge sitting in his vault but replace gold coins with Sh11t coins.)

Disclaimer: Sh11t is not a sound investment, and should only be purchased for “entertainment purposes” only. Sh11tit.non is not responsible for the inevitable devaluing of the Sh11t currency. Annual inflation of Sh11t is projected to be 100,000%. Our Lawyers have advised us to put this disclaimer in all advertisements for Sh11tit and Sh11t.


Edit: Oh crap some uh… Russian Hacker totally uploaded this before I was able to edit and upload the pictures for it. I feel totally stink about this, I’d make the pictures but it would be like six days in before I would be able to do them. Man why do those Russian hackers have to be so good. This was going to be my Comedy open mic week 7 submission, now it’s all ruined. I wonder why they didn't touch my big stack of 2 sbd? I guess we will never understand the mind of a hacker.

PS to all you COM contestants who have received an upvote from @dj123, you might consider this new product just out on the market.

CHASTE BUM 3000.jpg

We all know that he doesn’t give stuff out for free. But with this little baby when the piper comes back for payment you can have a little surprise in store for him.

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Such a shame this could have been good. Gotten a nice upvote. Oh well.

I know those tricky Russians, first they give us Trump now they ruin my post.

daem....i think @dj123 needs to change their ways...no more non-reward pool raping

It's always a good practice to keep all raping safely within the confines of the reward pool.

will be back to upvote this when my VP power >95%

Have my less than a cent vote for your sh11T1T post.

YAY!

For that sort of enthusiasm you could be the Dan to my Ned... Come on partner, lets make this happen.

Hey , I'm in! just point me to where I give a sh!t..... :-)

I'll throw some Sh11t your way for that quality comment...

Ah sh11t! Too bad those 1337 haxors got the drop on your SH11TIT idea. Better let SH11TCleaners know that you got phished by clicking on a link pretending to sell broken porcelain dolphins. There's a lesson in this: when you punish the porcelain, you never know where your SH11T will end up.

I'm such a sucker for those broken porcelain dolphins, it's like my kryptonite. I know that most likely it's a scam but always gotta roll the dice, just in case this one is real. One of these days I'll have one for myself, I don't care if I have to get scammed 100 more time, I will get my precious.

Thanks for pointing me in the SH11Ttiest direction. I will definitely not check it out! Disclaimer

Oh come on who doesn't want some Sh11t thrown all over their posts?

As long as it is the real original SH11T, I'm okay.
No stealing!

Sweet as, I'll expect your investment transfer shortly. :^P

Keep upvoting me when you're a whale, and I'll gladly buy into some of those SH11Tcoins.

haha...chaste bum 3000 is the best...this Butt totally needs that!

Yeah don't we all? I bet I could make a killing in the US prison sector, literally.


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Okay. Sry I really have to give you another SH11T1T Post... I love you!!! Keep on believing, just put only the effort in it that feels right... let‘s see it as some kind of a diary... until we can build the community we really want inside if it! I know I almost vanished... but there is still some time left to keep it going. Is it the money that makes me vanishing? It‘s an aspect. But I keep it going. Why? There are some people here that believe, that there is more about it. And who are willing to fight. :-)

Hey @imjustsaying ...your concept might be a real winner. Find yourself a developer and group of investors...for the st11tit coin. Make sure it's built on the blockchain; not the 'chaingang'...

Agh, who needs a developer, why bother with the long con? I just need a bunch of investors to cut me some fat checks. Then I can ride off into the sunset...

Oh wait, I think that might be illegal. Oh well, I guess I need to find myself a developer then. :P

Well it might be theft by deception, but in today's world that might be acceptable to the masses, lest they lost money too...